The Writing Week (Vol. 3) part 125 - Be A Patient Newbie

Sometimes it seems that the development process can take a lifetime. At least, that's what I'm finding out first hand. Of course, despite how it may seem, that statement is in no way an outright complaint at this time. Rather, it's an honest impression of the industry, especially an unproduced, unknown writer's position in it. 

It was almost a year ago to the day that I signed a one-year option agreement with Gretchen, the independent producer who wanted to work with me on my post-Apocalyptic spec. By the time the ink had dried, I had already been working on and off on that script for a year and a half. In the year since we made our agreement, we've partnered with a notable production company in LA to develop the script further. It's gone through a few monumental changes in that time (as you know if you've been reading my weekly posts). Last Thursday, while on vacation, I got a call from the executive at the production company.

She read the latest draft and really liked it. That was the good news. She did, however, have some notes that she wanted to set up a call for. That was the expected news. So, tomorrow, we're hopping back on the phone - hopefully for one of the last times before we move ahead with it - to hash out a few things. I got a preview of the notes, but tomorrow will involve more detail and specificity.

Granted, this is my first real foray into the industry (not counting a manager that I parted ways with over a year ago). The kind of no-money development deal that I'm working under is supposedly surprisingly common practice these days. Of course, it'd be ideal to be paid for the two major drafts I've done since linking up with the production company in October. But that's the dream, not the reality, and I know I can't complain. Everything I've read indicates that the trend is toward holding off paying for work for as long as possible, and as new scribes, we have little to no bargaining power. So I am happy to wait, develop my work, gain the appreciation of producers and executives I'm working with, and ease my way into the industry.

There has been one, big surprise discovery to come from all of this. It's been over a year since I really tried to write a new idea (as most of my time's been devoted to polishing, re-writing, and re-imagining this one). The effect has been that I've had to re-acclimate myself with writing first acts again. I used to dive in and bang out the first ten pages in a writing frenzy. Now, things feel a bit slower. Then again, that could just be a product of having been on vacation, where the most important thing I had to do each day was wake up in time to catch breakfast.

The Writing Week (Vol. 3) part 124 - The Evolution of a Script

Last week was quite the busy one. By midnight on Sunday, I had gotten a revised draft of my post-Apocalyptic spec to my producer, incorporating notes that she had from reading it earlier in the week. By Tuesday night, I had more notes from her - primarily edits in an attempt to bring the page count down from 117. Oddly enough, the final page count for the current draft wound up being 112, the original target goal I had a few weeks ago after bringing the draft in at 122 originally. 

As of now, we're waiting on notes from the production company. They got the script on Friday morning, and I'm hoping to hear from them some time this week. Waiting to hear back regarding a draft can be difficult, unnerving. Do I expect them to call us up and say that they think the new draft is absolutely perfect and they want to buy it as is? No, of course I don't. I anticipate receiving some notes from them. Do I think they'll be monumental notes? I certainly hope not.

I gave Onyx the script to read over this weekend, and he had a few notes. Most of them would be easy to incorporate without altering too much of the existing structure. Other notes might make things a bit clearer for the reader - at this point, my producer and I have been dealing with the material for so long that it's easy to see what's not there (and forget that others won't). 

It's been really interesting to think about the evolution of a script. In the nearly two and a half years that I've been working on this project, so many different elements have come and gone that at times it seems like I've written four different movies. Characters that were integral to the plot for over two years just vanished on this most recent go-around. The world has shifted considerably as certain events have been pushed up in time. New characters, relationships, and personality traits have been brought in. As the script has evolved (and, at times, devolved), there have always been a few core elements that stayed in place, too. Perhaps that's the most interesting thing about it - what has remained from draft to draft. The protagonist's motives and status quo have held this entire time, which I suppose is perhaps the most important thing to hold onto as a script changes (at least, it was in this instance for me). The reveal at the end has stayed the same, also. And, certainly, there are things about the world that have not changed.

One day, if this sells, I think it would be interesting to plot the course of the script by taking a look at a few key drafts and tracking their trajectory. I wouldn't be surprised if they seemed like multiple writers' take on the same logline. And I know they will be different enough that many movies could be pulled from them (though those key similarities mentioned above would certainly be apparent). For now, though, I wait as patiently as I can for notes. Luckily, I'm off to Florida for vacation, so at least I get to wait by the beach this time. 

Logline Central - Monsterpocalypse

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.

Ugh.

Title: Monsterpocalypse
Logline: Set in a metropolis filled with buildings, monsters brawl, blast or make devastating power attacks against the enemy monster. Units can attack a monster as well, but they typically need to work together in order to deal damage. The most damage comes from using the monster exclusive power attacks that deal damage by, for example, sending the opposing monster crashing into one or more buildings on the map.

Was this written by a third grader?

More: Board game, which is published by Privateer Press. Game creator Matt Wilson will co-produce. 

Oh, there it is. No writer yet attached to a movie based on another toy, this time a board game. 

You know, there was a time not too long ago when writers were encouraged to adapt their unsold spec script into a comic book or a novel if they were having trouble getting it made. The thought was that studios, reluctant to buy up some new material, would be much more comfortable paying for the rights to adapt a script from source material. The lucky writer, then, might essentially make the same sale twice, getting paid for the rights to his/her novel, and then cashing in a second time on a script that has already been written. (I heard that Larry McMurtry did this with Lonesome Dove.)

Now, perhaps it's we should start making our ideas into toys and/or board games if we hope to turn them into script sales.

The Writing Week (Vol. 3) part 123 - Fears Abated

Last week, I was nervous as hell about having sent the most recent draft of my script to my producer. Sure, I'd hashed out an outline that everyone gave the thumbs up to before I sat down to write any pages. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off with it. On Wednesday, I decided that it was time to get another set of eyes on the pages, and off it went.

On Friday, I got a call from my manager. He was checking in, seeing how the pages were coming and what my time line was. I let him know that the pages were off to the producer. We started talking about ideas for other scripts I could work on in the meantime, when we were interrupted by an incoming call he was getting from the production company we've been working with.

He popped off the phone for a few minutes to let the exec at the prod. co know that the draft should be in to them in a couple weeks. When my manager called me back, I let him know that I'll be going out of town come this Friday, and will be essentially MIA until the following Friday. With this new timetable, we decided to make an effort to get the script out by this Friday (the 14th). In the meantime, I would begin hashing out some notes for my follow-up project.

Not 45 minutes later, I was on the phone with the producer. She'd just finished reading the draft, and much to my pleasure, was incredibly pleased with the results. Of course, she had a few notes, I was expecting this. She sent them to me that night. Most of what I was concerned about was working for her. On the other hand, she brought up some logic points that hadn't even crossed my mind - mostly small things, mind you, but important points nonetheless.

With the new timetable (i.e. aiming to get "finished" pages out in a month), my plans to begin work on a new idea went out the window. Saturday and Sunday were spent laboring over the re-writes to the post-Apocalyptic spec (I wound up being quite surprised by the note that I got hung up on the most, something I hadn't anticipated at all). In fact, there was one smallish part that I was having so much trouble on, I actually submitted two versions of the sequence to my producer. They're marginally different, but each addresses a logic issue in a unique way.

So what's next? My producer's doing a final read. She'll edit some of the descriptions and look for any gratuitous scenes or beats, then send her markup to me. I'll go through and sign off and actually implement any and all changes. Hopefully, that will all be done come Thursday. Then, as I board a bus for DC (and then later a plane to Florida), the script - ideally - goes out to the production company. I'm on vacation for a week, and will hope to come home to word on where we go from there and any notes the exec has for us. 

The Writing Week (Vol. 3) part 122 – Editing for Content and Page Count

At the top of last week, I’d just printed out my 122 page draft with the hopes of cutting 6 to 10 pages out and targeting beats that were either redundant or needed to be included. I accomplished one of those two things.

To say that I went into my edits with a hint of trepidation would be an understatement. I was convinced that the draft I had printed was rife with plot holes, redundancies, inconsistent character actions and voices, and a number of other structural deficiencies. It was a pleasant surprise, then, when I re-read it (over the course of four days – I spent a lot of my free time preparing to move, which I did this weekend) and discovered that there were not nearly as many missing elements as I feared. Sure, there were definitely beats – there still are- that need some work. For the most part, though, I was much more comfortable with the pages than I expected to be, and that’s always rewarding.

The edits for page count, however, were a little less gratifying. My estimate at having cut an average of two lines per page was way past the mark. Out of a total 122 pages, I only managed to bring the edited version down to 118. Not great, although not too terrible. Modeled much more after films like CHINATOWN or MINORITY REPORT now than something like THE ROAD, the script has a bit more room to grow than the average action spec. Still, 118 is a bit long in today’s market, and I’d ideally like to bring it in at 116, if not closer to 110. To that end, I employed another trick today: the mighty pdf.

By converting the script to a pdf, I could pull it up on my screen and look at each page as a whole. Which – if any – have lines comprised of one single, short word hanging by itself? These sentences should be reworked to nix that roll-over word and bump an entire line out of the script. Going further, which pages seem to end with an extra chunk of white space at the bottom of the page? Movie Magic (which I use) will often keep a sizable chunk of page blank to save from breaking up an extended piece of dialogue or chopping up a new scene oddly. But those unused lines at the bottom of the page are valuable real estate, and a few tweaks to the text above them can bring in a whole piece of text that was held over to the next page. A few edits in this direction can also eliminate a page or two from the final draft. (It’s still amazing to me how using all 57 lines allotted to each page in Movie Magic can make a difference of up to 5 pages over the course of an entire script.)

So, tonight’s goal (besides continuing to unpack my new apartment), is to target the scenes that are still troubling me – it’s no surprise that they occur between pages 60 and 90, the common problem children of any script – and knock a few more pages out, if possible. Either way, I’m hoping of getting this draft off to my producer this week. I am definitely ready for a new set of eyes to look at it (and tell me everything that’s wrong with it).

Logline Central - Ring 3D

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.

There's been a lot of talk recently about the 3D craze that seems to be hitting Hollywood (and, some worry, will undermine Hollywood even further). John August tried to put out the fire a bit this week, but it's hard to deny that 3D is everywhere - and increasingly so.

I'm not looking to debate the pros and cons of the 3D boom as it affects writers. (The short, if you're wondering, is that with 3D really taking off now, only projects that easily lend them selves to a z-axis integration will be greenlit.) It makes for some fun viewing experiences, but the decisions to go back and reshoot a lot of pictures in 3D to try and jump on board the Avatar kick seems a bit much. Avatar had flying... dragon things (as did How To Train Your Dragon). Flight looks cool in 3D. (Cough Up cough.) Other things don't so much.

Horror, though, is one of those things that I think can look good with the added dimension. I never saw Valentine 3D, but I heard it was campy and gory enough to work with the medium. Well, this week there's another one added to the franchise.

Title: Ring 3D

Logline: Teens find a VHS player that still works.

Writer: David Loucka

More: Sequel. Third installment of "The Ring" franchise. Walter Parkes & Laurie MacDonald will produce. Vertigo and Benderspink will executive produce. The film will be in 3D.

Ok - for a change, I won't linger too much on the logline itself. If you've read any of the other Logline Centrals, you'll probably guess that I think this is a less-than-stellar logline. I mean... this can happen at a pawn shop with no cinematic repercussions whatsoever. That's beside the point this week.

No, the reason I chose Ring 3D as our feature this week is that a few of us in the League - including yours truly - were taught by Loucka while at NYU. At the time, he had finished some work on Snakes On A Plane (I know you all know it) and was working on other things. Loucka had some interesting ideas about my script in particular, which really benefited from his more mainstream Hollywood career. He helped me break out of a structure that wasn't working, expand my idea, and really turn it into something much more workable. He's not necessarily a household name (as much as screenwriters can be), but it's good to be able to say, "Hey, I know him. He was my teacher." Plus, the Ring franchise helped kick-start the Japanese import horrors, which tend to be pretty popular, so it's double nice to see him getting in on the action.

The Writing Week (Vol. 3) part 121 – Why It’s Better to Proof on Paper, Not on the Computer

Last night, as was my goal for the weekend, I “finished” the… sixth? seventh? draft of my post-Apocalyptic spec. This is a draft that came out of talks with an executive at a production company that’s been developing the script with me since October. No money’s passed hands yet, but the hope is that, once they’re on board, they’ll take it to the studio that they have a first-look agreement with. At the beginning of April, I met with the executive to go over an outline that I’d written for the script (after devoting two months to a massive re-write that she wasn’t totally on board with, we agreed that I wouldn’t put any more words to the page before cementing an outline everyone was pleased with). She approved the outline, and I’ve been writing semi-steadily since.

In last week’s post, I wrote about how I wasn’t exactly feeling the pages I was writing. I’m sort of still there, though I’m a bit more positive. Obviously, having a full (if not a bit long at 122 pages) draft is a good thing, even if it warrants a lot of edits. My main concern is that there are disjointed segments, holes in the information that I think I’ve conveyed – or needed to convey but didn’t fully set up – or redundancies that stem from the fact that I haven’t trusted myself enough that the clues are already in there.

At times like these – or really, any time I’m going to submit a draft – I hold firmly to the conviction that a script needs to be read in hard copy, not on the computer screen. It’s way too easy to overlook things while reading on the computer. The screen makes skipping ahead or skimming that much easier. On paper, though, you can really see the impact of every word, how one scene relates to another, and where formatting errors and inconsistencies make the finished product look sloppy. Printed scripts are also best for edits – both grammar and copy-editing – and for determining the cohesiveness of a story.

Tonight, I’m going home with my freshly printed (on recycled paper) script. I know I have to cut about 10 pages, so I’ll be looking for obvious and not as obvious trims. Some of the earlier scenes in act two are probably unnecessarily long, because I wasn’t sure how much filler I’d need, and therefore overwrote a lot at first. Mostly, however, I’m going to be looking for the key bits of pivotal information that I’m worried aren’t yet in there. Are the disparate parties involved fleshed out enough? Are the protagonist’s character and voice consistent throughout, even in the face of some major reveals? Are all of the reveals earned? Where are there plot holes and redundancies? I’ll be looking for all of this and more, and I know I wouldn’t have as great a chance at finding any of it if I opted to just read it on my computer.