Saturday, March 28, 2009
"One man dared to take a stand against this evil! One man dared to hurl a challenge of cold steel against the terror of the undead! He was Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter!"
Many men NEVER dare to hurl a challenge of cold steel against anything. They're barely men at all.
In the late 19th Century, Mark Twain (nee Samuel Clemens) penned several of the most treasured American novels. Nearly 100 years later, his ancestor Brian Clemens tipped the scales back in the favor of terrible by writing and directing the Hammer b-film Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter.
At 0:10 - Why are so many beautiful maidens taking that shortcut through Vampire Forest? I try not to question B-movie logic, but damn.
At 0:21 - O.J.-vision!
At 0:55 - "Just brushing my hair in front of the mirror... in the middle of Vampire Forest..."
At 1:16 - Bitten on the mouth??!?
"You see? He's been bitten on the mouth!"
Trailer Trash is a weekly tribute to oddball, cheesy and often just plain terrible movie trailers. Writers: These movies got made... so can yours! You can read through our archive by clicking here.