Logline Central - Teddy Bear

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.

Well, here's an interesting one. We've seen movies based on: video games, board games, toys, not to mention plays, other movies, and books. This week, we look at a film that is going to be based on an illustration. 

Title:	Teddy Bear
Logline:	At night, a small brown teddy bear -- brandishing a laughably small wooden sword and shield - protects a little girl asleep from monsters under her bed.
Studio:	New Line Cinema
Genre:	Family Fantasy
More:	To be based on an illustration by Alex Panagopoulos. Dwayne Johnson, Beau Flynn and Hiram Garcia will produce. Johnson is also attached to star. New Line's Michael Disco & Sam Brown and Flynn's Adam Yoelin will oversee. Garcia, a former assistant to Johnson, found the illustration and brought it to New Line & Flynn. No writer is attached yet.

An illustration? I'm intrigued. Not sure I love the idea that movies are made based off illustrations, but I'm at least curious to see it.

Oh. Ok. I'll bite. This could be fun. There's a ton of potential in there (for either a great film, or an awful one). But if a picture is worth a thousand words, then this is a strong and succinct pitch. And nowhere near as awful as my skeptical mind thought it would be. Of course, a lot of it will come down to who they get to write the thing.

Logline Central - The General Staff

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.

This week, I want to take a look at a featured logline, not because it sounds like it will lead to a particularly good movie, but because it's one hell of an interesting acquisition.

Title: The General Staff 

Logline: Set in 1979, "cowardly" U.S. diplomats are treated with kindness and eventually delivered to safety by their Iranian hosts. 

Writer: Ataollah Salmanian 

Prod. Co: Arts Bureau  

More: Ataollah Salmanian will direct. The film is being produced by the Iranian government in response to "Argo."

A government-funded response to another nation's fictionalized account of a thirty-year old event. Wow. I wonder how often that has happened before (and plead ignorant on the history of such occurrences). 

What are the implications of the film? (Note that I care very little about the actual content in this case; it is very clearly propaganda, which isn't how I interpreted Argo, but perhaps that bears a closer look.) Is the tone anti-American? Will it portray a wildly different version of the 1979 events, depicting Americans as the antagonists? I reserve no judgment on that, or on whether or not "we" were "bad guys" in that case. Politically, what does the film mean?

Am I ignorant of Argo's implications? I wasn't aware it was a statement that required or even prompted a response. Certainly not of this variety. And, perhaps more importantly, what does the Arts Bureau seek to gain by making such a picture? From a business point of view, the hypothetical Hollywood mogul in our Logline Central posts can question whether this film would ever be picked up for distribution, receive awards consideration, or otherwise make its investment back. On a more intellectual, less financially-driven level, I'd ask - who will see the film? It strikes me that it is made for Iranian audiences to address perceived gross misrepresentations and inaccuracies in an American movie. But will it ever reach beyond the country's borders?

I can't deny that there's a small part of me, a jocular, albeit maybe fractionally optimistic part, that wonders if The General Staff is indicative of something larger, a new paradigm in international relations. Could this be the new way countries wage war? Not a cold war, but a Celluloid War. Propaganda films replace guns, and theaters replace battlefields. We address our disagreements not through bloodshed, but with esoterically re-written histories. Sure, Iran's history in this case would vary greatly from the way we in the States perceive it, but doesn't it already? Dialogue between nations would crumble if every response is delivered in the time it takes to absorb a film and develop and produce a feature film in response, but the body count would drop considerably. And, frankly, can anyone claim that the dialogue that exists now is really any stronger? Maybe the fight of the films is the new way we should go in modern warfare. It would certainly be more civilized.

Or maybe that's just another far fetched, out of touch with reality film idea. 

Logline Central - Left Behind

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.

For this issue of Logline Central, I want to take a look at a logline that I at first wrote off, then thought about for a second, and the wheels just started spinning. Ultimately, I think it succeeds on a number of levels and in ways that, if not written exactly as follows, could render it a failed logline.

Title:	Left Behind
Logline:	Centers on a group of survivors during the first few hours after the Rapture.
Writer:	John Patus	Paul Lalonde
Genre:	Action Thriller
More:	Reboot of the series which started in 2001. Based on the novels by Tim LaHaye & Jerry Jenkins. Paul Lalonde and Michael Walker will produce. J. David Williams will executive produce. Vic Armstrong is attached to direct. Nicolas Cage is in talks to star. The film is budgeted around $15 million. Production is planned for early spring of 2013 in Baton Rouge.

My first reaction when reading it was, meh. What does it mean to have to "survive" for "the first few hours" after the Rapture? I don't care.

Then I thought about it. Wait a sec. This is actually pretty cool (potentially). In the Rapture, those destined to go to Heaven ascend - body and all - at either the end of days or before the second coming of Christ. As I highly doubt the Nic Cage starrer will be a theological debate, all I believe we need to know to get a handle on the idea is that the good people are all gone. The population of Earth will be (at least marginally) reduced, and those "left behind" are... not good individuals. Think, the airplane in ConAir, only it's the entire planet, and there's no John Cusack cop trying to save the day.

So, we know that the planet is now inhabited exclusively by bad people, and Nic Cage is among them. Presumably, he has to stop even worse people from doing very bad things, which, because Heaven has already been introduced via the Rapture, might earn him salvation in the end. If not full, go to Heaven salvation, then he might at least come away with the hope of entering heaven during a later Rapture (there are thought to be stages of Rapture). Either way, this could be a really interesting set up for a movie rife with bad people doing bad things in an action-packed way. 

It also has the potential to be just that and to not capitalize on the theological elements at all. The basic setup introduces the empyrean, so I have to assume that Heaven and Hell, maybe even angels or demons will be a part of the film. But that's not a guarantee. Perhaps all this is is a setup, and the rest is Nic Cage shooting people from his motorcycle. The logline doesn't offer much, but the questions it does provide are ones that pique my interest and make me want to read more. The script could very well suck for all I know, but if I was a producer and that came across my desk, I would ask to see the pages.

I looked up the writers, and they don't have many credits on imdb. That doesn't mean anything - they could have a hundred uncredited rewrite or script doctor jobs under their belts apiece, or might have sold material that never made it to the screen. (Oddly, John Patus has a writer and producer credit for something called Left Behind: World at War from 2005, about a nuclear war - no relation to this project from what I can tell.) Regardless, I think I'll track this one. 

Logline Central - Environmental Awareness

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.

For this Logline Central, let's take a look at a recurring theme - the environmental crisis. WALL-E was a not-so-thinly veiled look at the climate and environment catastrophe facing us at the moment. Leaguer Onyx wrote a script that indirectly addressed global warming. Countless books cover the problem, and with the elections coming up in November, the environment is on the tip of most politicians' tongues. So, naturally, it makes perfect sense that more and more movies are going to deal with the state of the planet. Here are two recent acquisitions.

Title:	Aurora The Spirit Bear of the North
Logline:	Revolves around the growing worldwide trend for conservation and preservation of the natural world, a movement that highlights the wonderful richness of the spiritual, earth-centered beliefs and actions of the Indian peoples of the Pacific Northwest.
Writer:	Erik Daniel Shein (author)
Genre:	Family Adventure
More:	Book. This will be an animated film.

Title:	Darwin: A Galapagos Love Story
Logline:	A group of unlikely friends, some of the rarest creatures on the planet, attempt to rescue a wise and infinitely kind Galapagos tortoise, who needs to find a mate to continue his endangered line.
Writer:	Erik Daniel Shein (author)
Genre:	Family Adventure
More:	Children's book. This will be an animated feature film.

Both of them are adaptations from books, which is no major surprise in this script buying climate. In terms of loglines, the second is far superior to the first. To be honest, I have little idea what the first is about. What we're presented with in this logline is a setting or a context for a film, but it's not a logline. It doesn't convey any plot at all. Perhaps the book has yet to be published, but this statement doesn't give us any insight into the story.  The second, however, sounds fun. We know who the characters are and what they want. We even know where it's set. And, we know what the struggle and challenges are. That, folks, is an effective logline.

I just hope that the trend toward environmental conservation themed family films means that the next generation will be heavily focused on preserving this planet. 

Logline Central - Dear Satan

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.


Every now and then, an idea comes around that makes you think, "Damn, I wish I'd done that instead." Today, Dear Satan is that idea for me. 

Title:	Dear Satan
Logline:	A 7-year old girl accidentally misspells “Santa” in her letter to the North Pole and instead invites Satan to bring her a toy for Christmas.
Writer:	Dan Ewen
Genre:	Comedy
More:	Spec. Conundrum's Bobby & Peter Farrelly will produce.

It's so simple and yet so smart. We've all noticed how eerily similarly spelled Santa and Satan are; one represents joy and goodness and generosity and love, while the other is death and destruction and denial and sin. Same five letters, though, only a little rejiggered. Thus, it makes perfect sense that someone would misaddress the letter. And a child? Of course. I buy that completely. 


Not to get into a debate on religion and the existence of Satan or not, but the logline does a perfect job of informing us of how this world works. Presumably, Santa really does exists and makes his perennial journey around the world each Christmas Eve to deliver toys. The fact that the girl's unfortunate typo addresses her letter to the Devil makes us think that, in this world, Satan is also very much a real force that can interact with the world. We know there's magic and the supernatural in the world of this script, and we also know that those forces pose very legitimate risks or influences. So, naturally, we beg to know the answer - what happens when Satan gets a request to show up with a present?


My search on Dan Ewen didn't reveal much about past writing credentials, unfortunately, though that doesn't mean much.  It looks like he had an earlier sale this past November and one in 2009. He might have ghost-written a ton before that, or been hired to do rewrites, deals that didn't make the trades. Either way, I don't really care. The title is great. The logline is beyond solid (we know the protagonist - the girl - the world, the rules, and the conflict). The idea is incredibly promising; I want to know where it goes. If I was the executive and this came across my desk, you can bet I would ask for the script. Hell, if I had the spending money, I might even pick it up regardless, just for the idea.

Logline Central - The New West

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.

Today's chosen logline highlights not necessarily the world's most engaging idea, nor is it an original spec (it's adapted from a comic book), but it has one thing going for it that's particularly worth looking at - a hook. Take a look.

Title: The New West

Logline: Nine months after a bomb creates an electromagnetic pulse causing all technology to stop working in Los Angeles, an ex-detective with a horse and a sword tries to find the kidnapped Mayor in a near deserted hostile environment. 

Writer: Jimmy Palmiotti (creator), Phil Noto (illustrations) 

Prod. Co: Benderspink, Black Bull Media

More: Option. Comicbook published by Black Bull Media. Benderspink’s Chris Bender, JC Spink & Jake Weiner and Black Bull Media's Gareb Shamus will produce.

Ok, so maybe you're thinking it sounds kind of cool. Or, perhaps you're thinking, "what a sell-out, that's such an easy idea. I can do that." Then do.

I like what this edition represents, because it's exactly the kind of thing my manager was encouraging me to strive for. (And, full disclosure - the notion of people in modern society reverting back to Medieval infrastructure, tools, and weapons intrigues me a lot; I actually had a very similar idea a while back, even involving an electromagnetic pulse, which I didn't spend much time further developing.)

Something that's recognizable/bankable, but with a hook - that was the goal when I was developing new material. Obviously, I wanted it to be something that engaged me and seemed worth my time, so I didn't just want to do "knights in space" or something likewise ridiculous. And, with The New West, we have a prime example. An ex-detective is quite recognizable and tried and true (and even my protag is one of those in the post-Apocalyptic spec I wrote a few years back), but a world where guns are no longer viable and society has been seemingly set back 400 years is a unique twist.

The objective is to mesh the tried and true with the twist in such a way that you the writer will want to devote months or years to it, and that you the audience member will want to spend $13.50 and 2 hours going to see it in theaters. Would I see The New West? Maybe. I skipped out on Cowboys and Aliens, which for some reason comes to mind when thinking about this, though in a way it is the revers of this one, but if I was hearing good things I would probably check it out. It's not the idea that's most blown my mind this year or this month, but it's a prime example of what the industry is looking for now.

Logline Central - The World is Ending

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.



The Mayas aren't the only ones who seem to predict that the world is coming to an end. A glance at the following five loglines indicates that Hollywood (and novelists) seems to think it's about to be over soon, too. (Full disclosure - I sincerely wish my post-Apocalyptic spec was among these and can only hope that these acquisitions represent a new trend toward end-of-the-world scripts, which will boost chances for the sale of mine.)

Title: Eden
Logline: Set in a post-apocalyptic world where humanity is on the brink of extinction and the robots that were created to serve humans have turned against them, a teenage girl struggles to fight the Fallen and help her friends find safety. She must choose between a boy she has always trusted and one who holds the secrets to her past. Writer: Keary Taylor (author)Genre: Science Fiction Action Thriller More: Novel. Mark Morgan, Kami Garcia, Brett Hudson and Michael

Title: Wither
Logline: Set in a future, the world is in a state of panic due to a failed effort to create a perfect race that's left women with a lifespan of 20 years while men die at 25. A kidnapped girl attempts to escape from a forced polygamous marriage designed to keep the population from dying out. Writer: Lauren DeStefano (author)
Genre: Science Fiction Fantasy
More: Novel, which is the first of three in a series. Prospect Park's Jeff Kwatinetz & Rob Carliner and Violet's Aly & AJ Michalka will produce.

 
Title: Rosa
Logline: Set in a post-apocalyptic world where all natural life has disappeared, Rosa, a cyborg deployed from the Kernel project, mankind’s last attempt to restore the earth’s ecosystem, learns that she is not the only entity that has awakened and must fight for her survival.
Genre: Science Fiction Action
More: To be based on the short film by Jesus Orellana. Genre's Simon Kinberg will produce and I AM's Scott Glassgold & Raymond Brothers will produce. Orellana will direct. No writer is attached as yet.

Title: Break My Heart 1000 Times
Logline: Set nine years after an apocalyptic event that killed millions and left the world inhabited by ghosts, a teen girl attempts to navigate through ordinary life as she’s haunted by the ghosts of her dead father and a teen boy she never met but who might hold the key to changing everything.
Writer: Jason Fuchs
Genre: Teen Supernatural Thriller More: Assignment. To be adapted from the Daniel Waters novel that will be published by Hyperion Books. Gold Circle's Paul Brooks will produce.

Title: The Last First Time
Logline: A college student learns the world will end and sets out on a quest to lose his virginity before it does.
Writer: Jason Fuchs
Genre: Comedy
More: Option. David Brooks and Dan Clifton will produce. Jason Fuchs will also star.

So, what's your take? A lot sound pretty similar, no? I'll admit, I think I like the two attributed to Jason Fuchs the most. (Is that a type on Done Deal's part? Beats me.) 

Eden sounds pretty hackneyed at this point. Robots and humans at war. Yadda yadda yadda. Might be a great execution, but based on those few sentences alone, I don't see anything special or new. Sure, it's a book. Fine. Maybe a great one even. But I haven't read it, and so far, I'm unimpressed.

Wither - yay! Teenage girls as protagonists! Eh, for whatever reason, this one just doesn't grab me. They die young, but they're beautiful or perfect, etc. Didn't Justin Timberlake just do something like this? And the girl is trying to escape a marriage, which would save mankind? Take one for the team, sister.

Rosa; shouldn't this one really be called Eden or Wither? Both titles seem more appropriate, given the subject matter. I'll admit I glossed over this one, too, until I reread the part about reviving the ecosystem. That's kind of cool. But I refer you back to the Eden analysis: robots (or cyborgs, whatever) and humans. Pass.

Break My Heart 1000 Times is probably my favorite of the group. For one, it's a post-Apocalyptic world, but it's as fully inhabited as one before the world comes to an end. Everyone who died (presumably) is still lingering as a ghost. So, theoretically, we won't get the typical post-Apocalyptic stereotypes - the roving bands, the loner men and women on a mission, the heroic parents trying to keep it all together. Talk of "holding the key" or "changing things forever" always makes me a little wary, but my interest is definitely piqued by this one.

The Last First Time - bet that one seems like a surprise favorite to you. What I like about it is that it takes a tried and true story (the virginal young man trying to do away with his V-card) and places it in a new setting (Armageddon). Something about it generates a sense of promise in the premise for me. It might suck. I certainly don't need to see a dude hump a pie as an asteroid races toward Earth. And I hope they don't skimp out and make it a "close call" situation in the end where the planet isn't destroyed. But I just like the idea. "The world is ending. I need to get laid before I die." Who can't relate. Amiright?

Logline Central - Tips from ScriptShadow

We're going to change up Logline Central a bit this time. Typically, these posts feature a logline posted to Done Deal Pro, which I then analyze (for better or for worse). Many of them are not actually loglines.

Today, though, I ask you to take a look at a recent ScriptShadow special post, which features examples of both good and bad loglines, as well as some helpful instructions on how to craft a successful logline for your script.

As it's said in the post, a logline is the key to getting your script read by a producer or agent or manager. If you don't craft a strong and coherent one (or two) sentence logline, then good luck proving that you've written a 100 page script worth their time.

Logline Central - The Returned

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.

 

It's been a while since we've had a Logline Central post (it's actually been over 3 months - whoops). To kick things off again, let's take a look at THE RETURNED. 

Title: The Returned

Logline: A woman works in a hospital's special unit where patients need daily vaccines to prevent the development of a terrible virus.
Writer: Hatem Khraiche

Genre: Horror Drama 

More: Julio Fernandez will produce. Carlos Fernandez will executive produce. Manuel Carballo will direct. 

My initial reaction is that the above isn't a logline, so much as the germ of an idea - a concept. Patients need daily vaccines to prevent the spread (development?) of a virus. Ok. Let's assume that the protagonist is this woman - based on the info provided, that's where we're told to focus; the only other option is that one of her patients is a protagonist, and that the antagonist is someone who might want this virus to develop unhindered. 

The info provided doesn't tell us a whole lot. It doesn't indicate what the virus could do if left to grow and reproduce. It doesn't say how quickly it can spread or how it's transmitted. All of that, though, is secondary to something else, something much more critical. Am I the only one left wondering - what's the story? The woman works in this hospital and administers vaccines on a daily basis. But are the vaccines running out? Are the patients no longer responding to the shots? Have people beyond the walls of the hospital started showing symptoms? What is the movie actually about?

Granted, with any "loglines" pertaining to something that's sold or been optioned, you have to take the info with a grain of salt. This is information that is put out there by the parties involved - the producers, studio, production company, and/or writer's reps - with the purpose of generating further buzz about their project. Sometimes, a sale will get logged before it's a done deal, just to entice other investors. Still, we unproduced writers look to these as industry standards by which we should model our own output. My advice: don't craft a logline like the one above if you're querying your material to producers or agents or managers or all of the above. Give that one extra bit of info that tells us what the story is about; A woman who works in a hospital administering vaccines to patients in order to prevent the outbreak of a terrible flesh-eating virus, discovers that the vaccination supply is about to run out. 

 

The revised logline does two things; it provides a bit more information on what the virus is or can do, and it tells you what the story is about, why it is happening now. We know that if more vaccinations don't show up soon, all the patients are going to be consumed by the virus. Alternatively, we know to expect this to turn into a horror movie where fleshless "zombies" walk around attacking other people.

Hatem Khraiche has some short-film credits on imdb and a feature in the works. I would need to know more about THE RETURNED before paying $12.50 for it.

Logline Central - Psycho Killer

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.

Here's an interesting logline that sprang up on DoneDeal today:

Title: Psycho Killer

Logline: A nameless, masked murderer leaves a trail of victims across the U.S. In a chance encounter on the plains of Nebraska, he kills a highway patrolman. The only witness to the crime, the patrolman's young wife, a fellow officer, sets out to hunt the killer down, as the psycho killer plans his masterpiece: a mass murder which guarantees him a triumphant entry into hell.
Writer: Andrew Kevin

More: Eli Roth and Eric Newman will produce. Gavin Polone will direct. 

Disclaimer up front: I'm always quasi-curious about serial killer films. I even wrote a draft of a low-budget serial killer drama. (I've never seen someone so scared by something I did as when I had to return to the Borders clerk because she overcharged me for the two serial killer books I bought for research. I guess it's not often that someone buys serial killer books - mind the plural - makes "harmless" chit-chat during the transaction, and then comes back a couple minutes later.) 

This logline is interesting. If I was a teacher, I certainly wouldn't use this as a prime example of a logline. It's actually closer to the length of the pitches I delivered to my then-prospective agent a couple weeks ago. If we're talking textbook logline, I still argue for one (possibly two) sentence that essentially follows this format: When X (inciting incident) happens, Y (protagonist) must Z (goal).

That said, I think today's example offers an interesting way to breakdown the film. At first glance, leaving a "trail of victims across the U.S." seems like it could be a movie in and of itself. However, after a bit further reading, it actually strikes me as the set-up. By the time the film opens, this trail of bodies has already been laid, and the authorities are onto the killer (at least the idea that he's out there, that is). The inciting incident - or at latest, end of Act One - is the patrolman's death. That's what really sparks the movie. And even though the logline opens with mention of the killer, I wouldn't be surprised if the patrolman's wife is the protagonist.

HOWEVER (and that's in all caps for a reason), the very last part throws a lot of that back up into the air. "As the psycho killer plans his masterpiece: a mass murder which guarantees him a triumphant entry into hell." Wow. Ok, here's what this does. A) It takes everything to a new level. A mass murder that guarantees a triumphant entry into hell is an interesting sentence, very curious and invoking imagery, but it might be too much. Unless we're following the guy into hell, we don't know what becomes of him after he dies. Therefore, his entry into hell could be completely irrelevant. B) It shifts focus back to the killer as the potential protagonist. His goal is to cause this mass extinction of people in whatever town the film is set. His antagonist, then, is the patrolman's wife trying to stop him. C) It makes me wonder a bit about the other themes. So far, we've had cops and killers. Now, though, invoking hell brings into a possible religious element, and certainly the presence of something much greater, which makes me wonder how it's all strung through - thematically - from the getgo.

Either way, I'll be curious to know more (though again caution that this might not be the best go-to source for logline examples, for the reasons above).