Tuesday, November 11, 2008

JCVD - You Might be Surprised


I’m going to try not to be biased here, but I’ve seen Jean-Claude Van Damme spin kick about 2,372 people, and I’ve loved every gravity defying second. Some people would call him a “career terrible movie maker”, but I say it all depends on what you’re looking for in a movie, and in most cases involving Van Damme, an action movie. There are several of his films that I can’t defend, not even with a flamethrower, but when it comes to the knockout punch, the run and gun, and the spin kick, Van Damme has delivered and entertained us immensely. I didn’t mind that I walked away from Kickboxer not discussing great acting. I didn’t mind that I didn't walk away from Double Impact talking about how interesting the structure was. I didn’t mind that Universal Soldier: The Return (in theatres...seriously) didn’t leave me dwelling on its skillful blend of comedy and drama. After all, these are things that we’ve accepted as irrelevant with Van Damme movies, right? Well, actually, Van Damme fan or not, you might be surprised to find that JCVD was good, and it will leave you talking about more than action.

In JCVD, Van Damme plays himself. In 1994, himself = an international action star, and master of doing the splits. In 2008, himself = a faded star all but forgotten to Hollywood, a man almost defeated by the financial and emotional struggles of a custody battle with his ex-wife. Van Damme retreats to Belgium, his country of birth, where he finds that he’s still the hottest thing since their waffles. While trying to complete a simple money transfer at the local post office, he inadvertently walks into a heist and finds himself the center of attention for the robbers, the police, and the entire country.

JCVD is not an action movie. In fact you’ll get most of the action during the first five minutes when Van Damme fights his way across a movie set in a great single-shot sequence. The lack of action may be strange for most that are familiar with Van Damme’s work, but it was exciting to see the action give way in order to allow the cellar kept children of Van Damme movies, drama and comedy, to emerge into the light.

The true reward in the humor of the film is for those at least somewhat familiar with Van Damme movies. It’s hard for me to put myself in my girlfriend’s shoes (America’s Next Top Model, 30 Rock, Snuggling), but for me, the references to Van Damme’s signature moves and movies were great. But for the first time with Van Damme, doing the splits and kicking a cigarette out of a bad guy’s mouth wasn’t being viewed as great action moments. Instead it was all being made fun of, and Van Damme finds himself as a character whose splits aren’t worth a dime in Hollywood, but in his home country, and in a time when they mean almost nothing to him, they mean a great deal to the surrounding characters. Van Damme plays off of the image of the Hollywood star against his harsher reality, and though it leads to laughs, it also leads to the dramatic core of the movie.

Director Marbrouk El Mechri gives the story an interesting non-linear structure that works well, but the biggest and most dramatic jolt doesn’t come from a jump in time, but a break in the fourth wall. It’s a strange moment where the film becomes a sort of confessional for our protagonist, and damn you if you don’t acknowledge that Van Damme delivers. In this scene it’s tough to say how much was the real Van Damme versus the actor. I imagine people will have mixed reviews on this moment because it is jarring, but it also feels honest, and as the fourth wall re-erects itself, movie fans and movie makers alike should have a new appreciation for what Van Damme can offer. I’d like to say that I’ve been telling people since Double Impact that there’s more depth to Van Damme the actor. Although, this can’t truly be an “I told you so” moment because Van Damme does have the luxury of performing in his native language, and if he bursts back onto the Hollywood scene as a leading man I don’t think we’ll be seeing much French. Speaking of French, I don’t know any and relied heavily on the subtitles that made up most of the movie. The choice of white subtitles was horrible and made certain scenes very difficult to read. That was probably my biggest gripe with the movie, and not so big at all.

I’ve never clapped at a Van Damme movie until JCVD and I wasn’t alone. Most of the theatre applauded. It’s possible that we are all just a bunch of nuts that were caught up in the moment and overreacted, but it’s unlikely. There’s something there in JCVD for most to appreciate. Van Damme has managed to turn some heads back in his direction with this one. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he doesn’t spin kick us with a poor follow up.

The Writing Wire for 11/11: More Girl Talk, Roberto Bolaño, Star Trek and more...


Here we go, yo.

• The Book Publicity Blog on why marketing folk should join microblogging site Twitter.

• Does D.L. Hughley's new CNN show suck? Romenesko links to a critic that says "hell yes."

• Cinematical reveals two weird facts: "The Karate Kid" film franchise is being revived, and Will Smith's kid is gonna be the star. "Karate Kid" without Pat Morita is blasphemy, I say.

• The New York Times says booksellers and publishers are nervous about holiday season sales.

• Is getting an agent harder than finishing your first novel? Murderati thinks so.

• Wired's Underwire blog on the two new Star Trek movie posters. See Chris Pine's Captain Kirk above.

• Californication is one of my favorite current shows. Film School Rejects recaps the latest episode.

• Ugh. The Boston Phoenix talks to Girl Talk.

• TIME says Roberto Bolaño's 2666 could be the best novel of 2008.

• Pitchfork interviews Calexico.

What are you reading? Week 7: On the road to Nowhere



Last week, I gushed and gushed about James Ellroy's The Black Dahlia, praising the neo-noir tale's slimy portrait of post-WWII Los Angeles and its denizens. Needless to say, I was pretty excited to move on to the next part of Ellroy's "L.A. Quartet," The Big Nowhere.

I'm not really sure how I feel about it yet. I'm about 170 pages in and I'm still waiting for that great moment where you have to keep reading and can't put the book down. I was talking to Zombie about this last week, thinking I'd reached that moment with the book. But then I hit a few slower, less interesting chapters and I found myself not as motivated to pick up the book. Still, I remain optimistic, and Ellroy is far from an "easy" writer. You have to really dedicate yourself to the material. He doesn't mince words or ramble on, so you know every word, character and scene counts. Did I mention it's not easy?

The Big Nowhere kicks off by slowly introducing us to its three protagonists: Sheriff's Deputy Danny Upshaw, a young up-and-comer with promise and a textbook approach to detective work; Mal Considine, a divorced cop trying to keep custody of his immigrant stepson and Buzz Meeks, a corrupt ex-cop who's on the dole for Howard Hughes and local mob boss Mickey Cohen. Set during the red scare of the early fifties, the novel finds the three characters inching closer together amid a backdrop of labor disputes, Communist witch hunts and a series of grisly murders.



At first, the three characters seem distant and unrelated, but as the novel progresses, all three become involved with the same problem: weeding out Communists from the UAES, an actors' organization on strike and costing Hollywood bags of money. I'm not sure how much that interests me, to be honest, but there's also the case of the potential serial killer, which is Upshaw's thread as the story begins. And sometimes, after reading a great book by a great author, you allow the author some modicum of faith when reading a later, more complex work. That's what's going on here. I imagine that after a few more chapters the story will kick in and I won't be able to put it down. Until then, I'll push through and wait for that moment.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Writing Week part 45 - Read Scripts


This week, though I didn't do a lot of writing, I did something that all writers - no matter how seasoned or "emerging" they might be - should really do. I read scripts. I read a script that Onyx lent me, which was nothing that anyone in the League had written. I read a script for someone I met at one of the Meetups that we've been going to here in the City. And I read material submitted by Leaguers for our most recent meeting, which was last Thursday.

Every week, king suckerman asks his readers what they're reading. As my family members will acknowledge, it's very odd for me to be a huge advocate of reading. I grew up hating reading. Unless it had Batman in it (and even then), you'd be hard pressed to get me to voluntarily open a book and sit down and process the words printed on its pages. It's only been relatively recently that I've done so willingly - and enjoyed it. Yet recently, I've taken to reading. I read on the train to work each morning and evening. I read when I get home (when I'm not writing). And, more and more, I find that I love reading. It's something that my father has done for as long as I've known him. The man has stacks of unread books scattered around my parents' house, because every inch of bookshelf is packed with books that he's read time and time again.

We spend a lot of time on this site talking about writing, but with the exception of suckerman's discussions, we fail to mention one of the most crucial aspects of writing - yep, you guessed it. Reading. If you plan on making your career as a screenwriter, it's imperative that you read not only other scripts - look at those that won awards, those you loved, those you want to imitate, and even those you hate - but read classical material, as well. I'm currently making my way through Dante's Inferno (on my way through the Divine Comedy). There's a reason this and other material is considered "classic;" it's proven itself time and time again. More and more stories are being told, which are based on 10-12 core formulas, depending on who you ask. When we went through NYU, we were taught that there were really only 10 stories, and everything since they were first put to paper has been some adaptation of them.

Reading is crucial to writing. Yes, what you're reading can impact your writing. But that's not always a bad thing. Certain stories and elements work for a reason. I'm just doing my damnedest to expand my horizons as a reader, and hopefully, in the process, as a writer, too.

The Writing Wire for 11/10: The new Lehane, Jolie, Girl Talk and more...


Bring the noise.

• PoeWar on building a sustainable writing career. Two words: Emergency fund.

• This is great news: Dennis Lehane's next book may be another Kenzie and Gennaro mystery, according to Sarah Weinman.

• Vulture discusses the trailer to Pixar's 'Up.'

• The Miami Herald's Glenn Garvin on Michael Crichton.

• Film School Rejects on why actors shouldn't be casting directors.

Cinematical has the the real story behind 'Changeling.

• Idolator ponders the question: Does Girl Talk's music fall under fair use? I don't think so.

• The New Yorker is serializing some new fiction by Jonathan Lethem.

• PopMatters on the state of rock concert posters.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Trailer Trash XIX: Cyborg (Jean-Claude Van Damme, 1989)


"He's the first hero of the 21st century... and our only hope!"

In honor of the opening of JCVD in New York, it seemed a natural choice to highlight one of the myriad classics laid on celluloid by Mr. Jean-Claude Van Damme. But where to start? Universal Soldier? Hard Target? Timecop? Street Fighter? Universal Soldier: The Return? So many wonderful, wonderful little turds - nowhere near enough time. (Side note: JCVD was awesome. Now, back to the lame...) After much consultation with the League (ok, well, just Onyx) I decided to start with 1989's Cyborg, directed by Albert F. Pyun, who was the early '90s action film answer to Ed Wood, Jr.

You can't really place much blame on Mr. Van Damme for this one - Cyborg was only his second starring role in a film (this was made right after Bloodsport) and at this point he was still struggling with the English language. It really doesn't help that he was under the direction of one of the few working men in Hollywood with more ridiculous movies to his name than Mr. Van Damme. Director Albert Pyun, to put it lightly, sucks incredibly. Albert Pyun sucks with passion, consistency and abandon. If making a shitty movie was dunking a basketball, Albert Pyun would be Michael Jordan. I'm talking about a Uwe Boll-level of sucking, kiddos. When it comes to taking a dump onto celluloid, Albert Pyun will forever be a Hall of Famer.

One look at his IMDB page will paint the whole feces-covered portrait. Bulletface? Brain Smaser: A Love Story? Adrenalin: Fear the Rush? Max Havoc: Curse of the Dragon? Even their titles are silly. Cyborg received a 4.3 out of 10 on IMDB, marking it as one of his highest-rated.

Pyun has two major obsessions: cyborgs and kickboxers. Many of his movies has at least ONE of these elements:

Nemesis
(1993) - In the future, chaos is rampant as 'information terrorists' threaten to destroy order in society. Alex is a part-man-part-machine LAPD cop who is the best at what he does. (This was followed by Nemesis II: Nebula, Nemesis III: Prey Harder, and Nemesis IV: Death Angel. None of these movies are rated higher that a 3.1 on IMDB.)

Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor
(1994) - A kickboxer must travel to Mexico to save his wife from a savage international terrorist.
(Pyun directed two of the Van Damme-less sequels to the original Kickboxer.)

Some of his movies incorporate BOTH elements:

Knights (1993) - In the future, a kickboxer and a robot lead a revolution against ruling cyborgs.

Heatseeker (1995) - A kickboxing champion is forced to fight cyborgs in a tournament when the company kidnaps his fiancee.

The subject of today's lecture, Cyborg, has both.



At 0:06 - Right off the bat we're treated to the Cannon Video logo. We KNOW we're in for a treat. It's sort of like the Nintendo Seal of Quality, except for things that suck.
At 0:13 - Or the not-too-distant past, in case you're watching this trailer in the year 2008.
At 0:20 - Is that the male cast of Dead or Alive 4?
At 0:26 - NO! Not food, JC! NOT food!
At 0:29 - Ok, that's definitely Zack from Dead or Alive.
At 0:32 - Seizure alert.
At 0:36 - Was that actor's voice re-dubbed by a muppet?
At 0:48 - A cyborg Sinead?
At 1:05 - Yikes - what IS that guy? A cyborg? Werewolf? Vampire? Running back for the Buffalo Bills?
At 1:14 - I have absolutely nothing to say about this frame.
At 1:15 - "BRARRRGGGHHH!"
At 1:17 - "BREAAAAAUUUUGGGGH!"
At 1:18 - "RUUUUURRRRRRRGHH!"
At 1:20 - "RAAAUUUUGGGGGHHH!"

Seriously, how many times do guys scream in the last 20 seconds of this trailer? If this trailer is indicative of the film's content, then roughly 1/3 of the movie is shirtless guys screaming.

"BLEAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!"

The movie Cyborg was never really meant to be. The film was originally meant to be a sequel to the live action Dolph Lundgren He-Man movie Masters of the Universe, which was to be shot back-to-back with a Pyun-helmed Spider-Man movie. Both deals fell through (though Pyun later directed another Marvel Comics-based film: the 1990 steampile Captain America, starring Dolph Lundgren). In an attempt to recoup some of the costs of these two movies, Pyun used the sets and costumes they'd already paid for to shoot a low-budget cyborg/kickboxer movie starring the then-little-known Muscles from Brussels.

To top things off, Jean-Claude Van Damme's character isn't even a cyborg. You'd think he was from the title, right? The villains aren't cyborgs, either. The only cyborg in this movie is a lame chick that Van Damme occasionally saves.



There is so much that is stupid about this movie. For God knows what reason, all the characters are named after guitars. Van Damme's character is named Gibson Rickenbacker. The villain is named Fender Tremolo. There's also a Marshall Strat and a Pearl Prophet. Agggh.

Throw in an overblown (and hilarious) crucifixion scene and a bunch of flashbacks where Van Damme wears a wig that's only slightly less silly than one a clown would wear and you've got one hell of a movie:


Trivia: Did you know Van Damme's first credited film role was playing "Gay Karate Man" in the movie Monaco Forever?

I guess in the end Van Damme really had nowhere to go but up from here. Pyun, however, continues to churn out turd after stinker with no signs of stopping. Damn you, Pyun. Dammmmmmn yooooouuuuuu!

"RAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGHHH!"

Trailer Trash is a weekly tribute to oddball, cheesy and often just plain terrible movie trailers. Writers: These movies got made... so can yours! You can read through our archive by clicking here.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

What, When, Where this Weekend - JCVD, Otto; or Up With Dead People, Repo! A Genetic Opera, The Guitar, Role Models

What, When, Where is a weekly guide to select screenings, discussions and events in the NYC-area of interest to screenwriters.

Opening this weekend...

JCVD, written by Mabrouk El Mechri and Frédéric Bénudis, dir. by Mabrouk El Mechri


Premise: Between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife for the custody of his daughter, these are hard times for the action movie star who finds that even Steven Seagal has pinched a role from him! In JCVD, Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States.

Playing at: Angelika, BAM, Landmark Sunshine

It's Jean Claude Van F'in Damme, people. And I've read it's actually good, even beyond all the awesome kicking. Onyx and I are heading to a screening after work tomorrow - you'll be hearing about this one, no doubt.

OTTO; OR UP WITH DEAD PEOPLE, written by Bruce LaBruce, dir. by Bruce LaBruce


Premise: A young zombie named Otto appears on a remote highway. He has no idea where he came from or where he is going. After hitching a ride to Berlin and nesting in an abandoned amusement park, he begins to explore the city. Soon he is discovered by underground filmmaker Medea Yarn, who begins to make a documentary about him with the support of her girlfriend, Hella Bent, and her brother Adolf, who operates the camera. Meanwhile, Medea is still trying to finish Up with Dead People, the epic political-porno-zombie movie that she has been working on for years. She convinces its star, Fritz Fritze, to allow the vulnerable Otto to stay in his guest bedroom. When Otto discovers that he has a wallet that contains information about his past, before he was dead, he begins to remember details about his ex-boyfriend, Rudolf. He arranges to meet him at the schoolyard where they met, with devastating results.

Playing at: IFC Center

Just when you think every subgenre of zombie movie has been done, here comes a gay zombie movie! Points for trying something new.

REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA, written by Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich, dir. by Darren Lynn Bousman


Premise: A worldwide epidemic encourages a biotech company to launch an organ-financing program similar in nature to a standard car loan. The repossession clause is a killer, however.

Playing at: Angelika

Just look at that screencap up above. And can we mention this is a musical? I'm intrigued. Correct me if I'm wrong, but we haven't had a real cult musical since Hedwig, right? (Only big ones that come to mind are Cannibal!, Saddest Music in the World and Moulin Rouge, but none of those really hit the midnight movie crowds...)

THE GUITAR, written by Amos Poe and Gillian Horvat, directed by Amy Redford


Premise: The life of a woman is transformed after she is diagnosed with a terminal disease, fired from her job and abandoned by her boyfriend. Given two months to live, she throws caution to the wind to pursue her dreams.

Playing at: Landmark Sunshine

ROLE MODELS, written by Paul Rudd and David Wain, dir. by David Wain



Premise: Wild behavior forces a pair of energy drink reps to enroll in a Big Brother program.

Playing: All over.

Had to put something at least semi-mainstream up here. I've always liked Paul Rudd - and the cast is pretty good here. I've never been a fan of the nutty-children genre, though.

What are you doing/seeing this weekend?