Saturday, March 21, 2009

Trailer Trash XXXIX: Varan the Unbelievable (1962)

"The world is amazed by Godzilla and Rodan, but it will be knocked for a ghoul by Varan!"

Right off the bat: what the hell does that tagline even mean? Knocked for a ghoul? Huh?

Whatever. What can you really expect from a generic Godzilla ripoff when your monster looks like this?


Let's narrate that scene. For fun, whenever you read the name of the film's titular character, draw the pronunciation out a bit, like "Varaaaaaaan, the unnnnnbelieeeeeeeeevable!"

FADE IN:

EXT. JAPANESE HARBOR - DAY

Sounds of SCREAMING as VARAN THE UNBELIEVABLE emerges from the cold water.

SAILOR 1
AGGGGGHHH! It's... Varan the Unbelievable! I... I can't believe him!

WOMAN
It looks like some kind of flying squirrel.

SAILOR 1
BUT HE'S GOT A LIZARD FAAAAACE!!!!

WOMAN
I still say squirrel.

They are eaten by the Varan the Unbelievable.

(Ed. Note: If anyone knows a way to properly indent screenplay formatting in blogger, please shoot me an e-mail.)

Anyways, on to the trailer trash:



It seems like whoever edited that trailer was aware how silly Varan looked, and made sure not to show more than the top of his head or a single foot at a time.

Yeesh.


"So AWESOME it will shock you to the core!"

Trailer Trash is a weekly tribute to oddball, cheesy and often just plain terrible movie trailers. Writers: These movies got made... so can yours! You can read through our archive by clicking here.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Writer Spotlight - Aurin Squire


Writer Spotlight is an irregular segment promoting upcoming readings, productions, and screenings of work by emerging writers in New York City. Have one of those coming up that you'd like to let people know about? Email us at info@screenwritersleague.com.


Aurin Squire is a NYC based playwright and webcomic creator. The off-broadway previews of his show begin this week. The show, To Whom It May Concern, is playing for four weeks; tickets are discounted at theatermania.com. You can check out his webcomic, Bodega Ave. here.


Entertainment Agora presents...


To Whom It May Concern
By Aurin Squire
Directed by David Gaard

The only thing a Marine in Afghanistan and a gay teenage boy in Kansas share are two computers, some letters, and a world of lies. That's all it takes to start up a cyber romance. "To Whom It May Concern" is an wireless romantic comedy about sex, scams, and the sordid little lies we tell for love.

Limited Engagement (March 19th-April 12) Thurs-Sun @ 8pm
Arclight Theatre
152 w. 71st St.

Theatermania.com for discount tickets
or 212.352.1303 or 866.811.4111

What, When, Where this Weekend - Sin Nombre, Hunger, I Love You, Man

What, When, Where is a weekly guide to select screenings, discussions and events in the NYC-area of interest to screenwriters. Have an event you'd like to see listed here? Give us a heads-up at info@screenwritersleague.com.

Opening this week...

SIN NOMBRE, written and directed by Cary Joji Fukunaga


Premise: Sayra, a Honduran teenager, and Willy, a recent recruit in the Mara Salvatrucha gang, both dream of better lives for themselves, and a fateful event will find the two strangers united on a freight train bound for the U.S., where the hope for new lives await.

Playing: Landmark Sunshine, Lincoln Plaza Cinemas

The early buzz around this reminds me a bit of what Slumdog was receiving early on. Let's see if it meets the same success.


HUNGER, written by Steve McQueen and Enda Walsh, dir. by Steve McQueen


Premise: The last six weeks of the life of the Irish republican hunger striker Bobby Sands.

Playing: IFC Center

I'm most interested in seeing this for once scene: a 20-minute dialogue shot in only two takes, described by Time Out New York as "probably the greatest one-act play ever filmed."


I LOVE YOU, MAN, written by John Hamburg and Larry Levin, dir. by John Hamburg


Premise: Friendless Peter Klaven goes on a series of man-dates to find a Best Man for his wedding. But when his insta-bond his new B.F.F. puts a strain on his relationship with his fiancée can the trio learn to live happily ever after?

Playing: All over.

Paul Rudd, Jason Segel? I'm in. Let's just hope this can avoid all of the tired Apatow-isms that seem to be almost required in comedies these days.

What are you doing/seeing this weekend?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Have the Cake and Eat It


This week my boyfriend is out of town for spring break. It is Day 3 in Fort Productive Solitude, and I'm going nuts. There's not enough time. There just isn't. I had made a lofty goal of pounding out 30 pages in 4 days (I'm going out of town for the weekend), and it almost seemed possible, but for the other to-dos that I ALSO vowed to do now that I have time (time! precious little time!). Wash the shower curtain, change sponges, scrub the bathroom, dust the bookshelf, go to the gym. Cook. Clean. Laundry. Why won't dishes go away? Why every time I eat there're more? There must be a better way to appease the sink. Blood sacrifice? Salt and holy water? On Monday I finished the new beginning to the fantasy script I've been working on, then added another page, then cut 2 pages. Tuesday I started the new script I've been plotting. Wrote 3 pages (only! Only 3 pages!!), then woke up at 2 in the morning and wrote 4 more pages before I realize that I'm not in college anymore and need sleep to function at work. And now, Wednesday! Cruel Wednesday marking the half way point of this week. And soon I will sink back into the swamp of blissful, mindless, happy, oblivion of LOW PRODUCTIVITY.

Onyx once compared writing while in a relationship to cheating on your girlfriend. I think I laughed. I now weep in misery. I suck at cheating. I've tried writing around said boyfriend, behind said boyfriend, blatantly in front of said boyfriend. It's useless. I wrote 10 pages at most in the past month. While he also desperately wants to study for his exam, we are like two people who decided to have an open relationship, but only cruise the bars half heartedly. An hour a day is just not enough for me.

I look back at my life 2 years ago, when I was at the height of writing productivity. I didn't work out, I didn't go out, my food were mostly bought or frozen, yet somehow dirty dishes would pile out the sink onto the counter and eventually the floor. I was quite convinced I was going to die alone in the woods with cats. At the absolute highest/lowest point, there were mice in my apartment and all I did was break off the part of food that I found chew marks, and eat the rest. My cowriter at the time saw this and pointed it out to me. I couldn't figure out what the hell was his problem. If he didn't want my food just leave it. I could do 30 pages in a week back then. I don't miss that kind of life. But I do.

How on earth do people eat a healthy balance of vegetable and protein, cuddle, and actually write daily?

Rick Moranis, where are you?

I've actually been wondering that myself a lot lately...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Screenwriter Millard Kaufman Dies


From Imdb.com.


Mr. Magoo Co-creator Dies
17 March 2009 5:15 AM, PDT

The Oscar-nominated screenwriter who co-created the cartoon character Mr. Magoo has passed away.

Millard Kaufman was 92 when he died of heart failure on Saturday in Los Angeles.

Kaufman first conceived the short-sighted, clumsy Mr. Magoo with animator John Hubley for their 1949 theatrical short Ragtime Bear.

That film was a box office success, and the co-creators subsequently handed over the series to director Pete Burness, who won two Oscars with the 1955 film When Magoo Flew and 1956's Magoo's Puddle Jumper.

Kaufman later went on to write the World War II boot camp drama Take The High Ground, which earned him a Best Original Screenplay Academy Award nomination in 1954; his second Oscar nod came for his Western film Bad Day At Black Rock two years later.

He also tried his hand at penning novels, publishing his first effort Bowl Of Cherries in 2007. His second novel Misadventure will be released posthumously this autumn.

Kaufman is survived by Lorraine, his wife of 66 years, two daughters, a son and seven grandchildren.

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Writing Week (Vol. 2) part 63 - All the Little Things


Things add up. That's one of the things I love most about writing. What's the saying, "the truth is in the details?" For me, the joy is in the details, the little details that on their own, mean little or nothing, but together, can be monumental. This week wasn't "productive" by page count standards. But I'd still consider it one of the more productive weeks I've had this year.

Not to jinx myself (knock on wood, spin three times in a circle, and cross my fingers), but I've recently found myself quite busy. I finished a draft of the Roman-army spec recently, and have to tackle the re-writes for that, since I have a friend at a reputable production company who wants to read it. That same friend also read my post-Apocalyptic spec and really likes it. With a little work, she thinks it could actually go somewhere. And, finally, I had a chance encounter with someone who knows a producer looking for big budget comedies. I happened to have an idea for a comedy (and little more than that at the time), so I emailed the producer who said he'd call when he's back in town. Top it off with an enthusiastic call I had from a family friend whose daughter is a producer and who screens material submitted to her, and it was a good busy week.

Now, I know that any or all of this could fall through at a moment's notice (or without notice, really). I also know that a lot of people would have considered it foolish to email a producer about a film that was nothing more than a basic idea, which ended when the logline stopped. On the flip side, I know that this is a business where every little thing counts, and every opportunity has to be taken advantage of, especially at the beginning of someone's career. Sort of the "leave no stone unturned" approach to breaking in. As new writers, we have to adopt that philosophy. Plenty of scripts are purchased when they're still just ideas; if you ask me, if you have a chance to take an idea somewhere (as long as you can and will develop it), do so. I even know of instances where people send queries about projects they haven't even begun working on just to judge interest in them. I don't know if I'd go so far as to support that, but I do think it's worth pursuing any lead you have.

The "little things" like these, leads and chance encounters that haven't born fruit yet, but can maybe turn into something, are just another part of writing. I'm sure we can all cite examples of a time when a little breakthrough (a character's motivation in this scene, a line of dialogue that makes something work, a sub-plot ironed out) might seem insignificant to anyone else, but to you, are huge, productive, commendable accomplishments. I hope I'm not jinxing myself (my writing-related superstition is massive) when I say that I'm riding high and hopeful off of these little things this week.