OK, the big day is approaching. The bridal party is flying in. The meals have been chosen. I think I decided which tux I'll wear (prom '03 and it still fits!). We even have a sweet deal with the caterers for some primo whiskey. The only thing is... I'm getting cold feet.
Or at least, that's how it feels. Onyx alluded to some script requests I recently got. It's no secret to the other Leaguers - or you readers - that Zombie and I have been sending out e-queries to various companies for about a month and a half now. Most of what I've read has suggested sending out upwards of 100 queries per project, with stats that: of 100, you'll get 10 responses and, of the 10, you'll have maybe 1 or 2 script requests. Well, I've sent out 12 email queries to various management companies to date, give or take a few, regarding my post-Apocalyptic spec. I've heard back from 3 companies, all of which asked for the script. I also received a request from a production company for my comic book style spec. OK, batting 25% - not too bad.
However, I've encountered an unexpected problem as a result of these requests - cold feet. Otherwise known as self doubt, I feel like I'm inches away from the altar, my beautiful bride smiling at me, and all I can think is that I've committed the worst of mistakes. I have this nagging sensation that the very script I spent so much time working on, re-working, and then querying is no longer ready to be seen by professionals' eyes. Months ago, when a former board member of my company's offered to read my best material, I sent him my post-Apocalyptic spec. Both Zombie and Onyx assured me that it was the best thing I'd written, the biggest weapon in my arsenal. I just can't help but doubt that.
Perhaps it's the very fact that someone outside the trusted circle of Leaguers, someone with an actual potential in for me is going to read the script that makes me so uncomfortable. Am I wrong to doubt the script's strength at this point? Is it natural to be doubtful at this point? Yesterday, I told Zombie that I feel as if there's one more note waiting out there for me, which will ease all my troubles, fit everything into place, and help me figure this damn thing out once and for all. I can't figure out what the note might be, and neither could Zombie or any other Leaguer. In fact, the note might not even exist. Maybe I'm just suffering from cold feet.
2 comments:
There are probably hundreds of notes waiting for you regarding your script. Some might find themselves to you, others might not. There's always going to be notes to be given. If somebody time traveled ten years into the future and brought back an academy award winning script, the League would conclude that it was a good script, but we'd all have notes for improvement.
Best thing you could do is move on to the next project. The arrow is loose, and there's no way to bring it back...unless it's a metal arrow and you're Magneto. But you're not.
I think it's normal to second-guess your script until it's been taken out of your hands and replaced by a check. Nothing wrong with that - you'll always find something to improve if you scrutinize close enough.
My mother would often complain that her art was never finished until the piece was sold. I've known her to arrive to a show opening early with paints and a glue gun so she can change stuff. Hell, she's talking about bringing paints with her on Thanksgiving because there are things that bother her about the painting currently hanging above our couch. I don't think that's too dissimilar to how we look our writing.
It's natural - you'll find things to fix until the script's at a stage where you can't touch it anymore. I wouldn't stress about it too much.
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