Mars vs. Venus, Or, on Feedbacks

The most shocking feedback I got during last week’s meeting was that my romantic comedy’s love interest was an asshole. The specific words used were “evil”, “sociopath”, and “demon from hell here to destroy women”. Obviously, I was surprised. I had specially given my male protagonist a good amount of thought. I wanted him to be a player, but likable and sympathetic. I knew before sending the pages out that the scenes were much too long, but I was actually fairly pleased with how I built him.

“I don’t know any guy who would do this.” Cake Man said. And I assume that Cake Man knows a lot more about male mentality than I do. I went home disturbed.

I know that my moral and violence sensibility are a bit skewed. It’s very likely that my romantic view also got warped somewhere down the line. I could have simply not realized this because all the romantic relationships in my past scripts were supposed to be twisted. How on earth am I supposed to write a romantic comedy then?

On the other hand, I’ve had my fair share of girls’ night out since high school, and I never shocked anyone with my point of view about men or relationships. The first person I consulted was my sister, who has an impressive resume of heterosexual relationships, both long and short terms. As my mother would say, she knows men. Perhaps even better than Cake Man. I told her about my protagonist, and she loved the idea. Even wanted me to include Onyx’s brother’s story.

This was such a contradicting comment from the group I was iffy. After all, she might have seen most romantic comedies out there, but when reading my last script, the only problem she had with one of my characters cooking and eating someone’s arm, was that there was no way the said arm’s owner wouldn’t bleed to death before the ambulance arrived. We had a passionate argument about how much of the arm was I allowed to hack off. (In the end, I simply cut the scene.)

I brought the script to T&A, the League’s sister group. I didn’t mention the League’s problem, in case I effect their point of view. No one brought up anything about disliking the love interest. I finally asked the question toward the end. Did anyone have a problem with Matthew? The girls paused, and said quite frankly, no. They liked him. Thought he was kind of sweet and kind of sad. One member even defended him, justifying him to me. The scene was too long and they did want more personality, but that was it. The conversation then moved on to contraception and roofies and men who fuck with your mind vs. men who fuck with your mind knowingly. One member who had gone out for a bottle of wine returned and asked what were we talking about. I told her the original question, and she immediately said, "yeah, he was kind of a dick."

I miss the good old days of math when there was only one right answer.

Whose Structure?

Last night, Onyx was hanging out at our (Captain Undead and my) place, chatting and killing some pixilated terrorists with us. We stumbled upon an interesting discussion, which really got me thinking.

As I mentioned in the pervious post, the Writing Week part 3, I started having some doubts as to where exactly my first act was ending, and whether or not it was becoming too long. Captain Undead interjected that he, too, was having some thoughts about the project he’s working on, since it won’t adhere to traditional act structure, per se (I don’t really want to speak for him, so if he wants, he can elaborate later).

But, that got us thinking; do we really need to feel compelled to follow act structure as it’s been taught us? There I was, sitting, talking with other Leaguers, worrying about whether I was going horribly off track because page thirty had hit and act one was still, possibly, not over. (Mind you, that’s a bit of an exaggeration…but not much.) I have an idea, which I think could be really sound once I get it written, an idea which we’re all excited about, and somehow, when Act Structure comes into view, the idea has to become putty and work around that.

I know that we are not forbidden to color outside the lines, so to speak. Plenty of writers and filmmakers have strayed beyond the three act structure and have made wonderful films. However, as a young writer, Act Structure is still quite a helpful, guiding force for me. I think it is for older, well established writers, as well. And there’s a reason for that: usually, it works. It took me quite a long time to figure that fact out for myself, but once I did, my screenwriting progressed tremendously.

But now, I find myself wondering if, perhaps, I’ve let the idea of Act Structure become too overbearing. Maybe I’m not letting myself work freely enough of it to really accomplish what I’m trying to do in my scripts. At the end of the day, I do revert, rather instinctively now, I might add, to the three act format. I suppose there’s really no solid conclusion I’m going to draw here, other than that I have a vague inkling that, as helpful as three act structure is, it’s taken a bit too literally as the way of the trade, that someday, I’ll be able to work outside it and progressive instructors will help students see teir way beyond it, when such a time is necessary.

The Writing Week part 3

A lot happened this week. For one, I missed a day of writing. To be perfectly fair, that happened the day of our meeting, so while I wasn’t writing for an hour that night, The League and I discussed my script for nearly that long. It wasn’t a waste of time by any means. While I left the meeting feeling more confused about certain things, I was able to digest the feedback and suggestions I got and turn them into something more workable a few days later. So that was good.

Additionally, I finished Act One! (More or less.) By that, I mean that I had outlined everything and wrote up through (roughly) the end of the first act. I got to a point where I was pretty sure Act One had ended, and I have not progressed past that. However, besides the obvious reason that this is a first draft and therefore an unfinished first act, I also have a lot of re-working to do in the pages leading up to the inciting incident. Once I hit that tent pole moment, the film becomes an adventure that can breathe on its own. But, I have a lot of work to do within those first ten or twelve pages.

Part of what happened at the meeting is that I realized just how much more I have to do than normal. Whereas in most scripts, the first ten pages are vital in setting up the characters and establishing a bit of their situation, with this script, I also have to lay the groundwork for an entire world. It’s not unusual to have quirks here or things that must be established within the world, but with this project (again, so as to not give it away, I must be cryptic), there is an immense amount of set up that must be done alongside establishing the characters.

So, this week, I should get back to those early pages and make them work within the new context of the script. I’ve answered a lot, in no small part due to suggestion from the other Leaguers. LoKor articulated it particularly well when he said, and I quote, “you're asking the audience to accept a lot about the world, try to keep as much of the other stuff as simple as possible.” Good point.

Until next week…(or the post I’m about to make).

The Week in Review

We missed last week, but we're back...



Rent to close June 1st
What Happened: After twelve years on Broadway and grossing over $ 600 M (Broadway and on the road), Rent is closing on June 1st.

Why It Matters: While I'm sure a Broadway historian could give a more profound analysis of this event, suffice it to say that it revived the rock musical to the extent that the better part of the next decade would see shows taking on similar styles and formats. Let's put it another way: there's probably no Spring Awakening without Rent happening first.


American Idol returns
What Happened: American Idol returned to airwaves this week, sweeping the ratings on both Tuesday and Wednesday night.

Why It Matters: It may not, but this is certainly a different television landscape than what they're used to. Their numbers are down from last year, but it'll be interesting to see if they can regain some of their prowess.



Brad Renfro, Suzanne Pleshette, and Allan Mellvin pass away


*moment of silence


Oprah gets own network:
What Happened: Oprah's getting her own cable network, to be called "OWN." Let all L33t speakers make their jokes now. Oh hell, Oprah, this one's for you.

Why It Matters: Oprah is without a doubt the most powerful woman in entertainment. This solidifies her position even more. What kind of programming we can expect to see, however, is yet to come.


Directors strike a deal (no pun intended)
What Happened: The Director's Guild of America reached a deal on a new contract with the MPAA. The deal includes compensation for new media, something that has been a particularly nasty sticking point in the negotiations between the MPAA and the WGA.

Why It Matters: basically, a precedent has now been set, and from what I understand, the terms the directors agreed to are less than what the writers are seeking, though it doesn't necessarily undercut their efforts. The agreement with the directors gives the producers the ability to say to the writers, "Well, if they agreed to this, why can't you?"


WGA strike to affect the Grammy's?

What happened: The group that runs the Grammy's is trying to reach a temporary agreement with the WGA so their show doesn't turn into, well, the list reading that was The Golden Globes.

Why It Matters: It's a little annoying, especially seeing as the DGA was able to quietly negotiate a new contract with the MPAA, but isn't it interesting to see just how much the writers do for not just Hollywood, but for entertainment in general?


Borat avoids lawsuit


What Happened: remember in the Borat movie when the title character had the etiquette lesson in Alabama? Yeah, well, that woman sued Sacha Baron Cohen, claiming she was duped into being in the movie. Cute. Needless to say, it didn't work out for her.

Why It Matters: Read what you're signing, people.





Did we miss anything? Got something to add? Post to the comments. Write well.

The Writing Week part 2

Well, it's been a week already, somehow. The interesting thing is that I feel like I'm just as far along as I was a week ago, which is to say, a foot still on square one. However, that's not the case.

For the first time, I've done something other that either write or outline. (Sure, I've done research for past projects, too, but just minimally.) This time around, though, I find myself sitting at my computer typing page long answers to questions that I ask myself.

Briefly, so as to not give away too much about my script, the idea centers around a bounty hunter in a chaotic world. (Vague enough for you?) Of course I knew that there were going to be questions that I would have to answer before I could progress with the story. Up until I began sitting down each night to work on the script, I didn't realize how important the answers to the questions were. I literally couldn't progress until I answered a handful of them; I was stuck. By the end of the week--mind you, I started with three pages of script written--I was on page fifteen, but had over eight, single spaced pages of answers to myself. There was just so much I didn't know an anticipate having to know.

Truth be told, I'm not really content with the pages that I turned out. I was writing them while still lacking the answers I needed, trying to fool myself into thinking that was OK. Another first for me: I re-wrote scenes over and over, jumping back to them night after night, even though pages were piling on in front of them. It was that problem with the answers; my mind kept wavering, the pages kept feeling wrong to me, and the direction I wanted to take the script kept changing. Are the scenes stronger for that? No, I don't think so, because I'm still reworking them.

Last night, the final night of Week One, I had to ask myself a major question that I thought I'd resolved. In doing so, I upset the work I had done, once again requiring the two scenes I rewrote the most to be looked at again. In truth, it's an important question, and the answer to it will strengthen Act One (and the rest of the film) to the point where I can comfortable write it.

At the end of the week, though my mind was still foggy on many key elements of the script, I did have a few positive things to take away from those first seven days. For one, though I was unsure of many things, I did have a solid enough foundation laid out that I could embark upon the outlining process with little more than the natural stress and aggravation of outlining. Secondly, I had written through my inciting incident, however many rewrites it might require. And, lastly, while I was sitting in a diner having a work breakfast on Friday morning, I got that feeling. The feeling that things were good. The feeling that I was writing again and that being creative was going to lift my spirits. I had the urge to pull out a pen and paper and just write down ideas, dialogue, anything (which I actually did on my way to the diner).

Even if the pages weren't coming quickly, the creative juices were flowing. Week One was a very much needed foundation for the weeks that lie ahead.

The Totally Irrelevant Box Office Report

For those keeping track, we didn't have time to get to the week in review this past weekend. It'll be back this weekend.

Anyway, I'll keep this somewhat short because I'm a little flabbergasted.

Here are the top two films of the weekend:

The Bucket List - $19.4 M
First Sunday - $17.7 M

...okay. Now, I don't necessarily think these movies looked bad. They just looked like an amalgamation of rehashed ideas. It literally looked like ideas were plucked from hats to put those two movies together. I'll just refer you to Cakeman's post about originality instead of making this site seem redundant.

Anyway, I'm happy to say that Juno was third this week, earning $13.6 M in ticket sales. The word of mouth generated from the early release of this film clearly helped when it was released nation-wide. As my friend Rob put it, this film is definitely this year's Little Miss Sunshine.

Numbers were really low, folks. Numbers 4-9 look like this:

National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Alvin and the Chipmunks
I Am Legend
One Missed Call
P.S. I Love You
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie

The only other film in the top ten with considerable Oscar buzz was bringing up the rear: Atonement brought in $4.22 M.

The Random Friday Musings/Links

(Editor's Note: This post is updated throughout the day. Check back for additions.)

I was pretty much bowled over when I heard that The Bucket List was getting good reviews, but I never expected the same from First Sunday. The New York Times' review of the film isn't glowing, but it's certainly more positive than I expected. A rental, perhaps?

Anyone who watched Doug when they were younger should appreciate this one.


Write on...