Coming In on the Sly

I recently started a new job, which is amazing in itself considering all the shit that has been hitting the American flag lately. What is even more amazing is that this job is the job I wanted: It’s an assistant to the Executive Producer of this really cool kids show, “The Electric Company.” (www.pbskidsgo.org) It’s produced at Sesame Workshop, which means I get to spend my days walking through the brightly colored, stuffed animal clad hallways of Sesame. Of course being an assistant means all of organizing someone else’s life – but my boss is so cool and zany that I am really into it!

I’m on week two of my job. Last week was nothing but fast paced and exciting. From a writing stand point, also really inspiring. I was not only asked to read a few short scripts and give my boss my notes on them, but I was allowed to sit in on a script meeting! I am trying to let everyone in the office know that I am and want to be a writer and am good at it – without being a dick about it. I have fared well so far:

One thing I learned from being in the Dramatic Writing program at NYU is that if you’re the newbie in a room full of people who have been working on a show, you have to keep your mouth shut. No one wants the new person to be cocky or loud mouthed, because everyone else in the room does know more than you do. I failed a little and said three things total during the script meeting. Interestingly, the script coordinator, who is the official note taker of the meeting, wouldn’t even write down what I said. That is, until the third time when the head writer told her to.

We were done reading this first draft, and the script supervisor was going page through page, asking who had notes. We came to page 10 and I asked a question, “I was wondering why x wasn’t in the script,” (which is a better tactic instead of saying, “this is wrong but I know how to change it”). Everyone paused and told me to go on with my thought. I did, and the head writer said, “That’s really smart. Put it in the notes!”

So wahoo! I got my note in the page of notes to be given to the writer, which he’ll use to revise. Of course, who knows if he’ll do anything with it – but being called smart by the head writer was totally a thrill! Now the next hurdle would be to be invited back to the meeting. I don’t want to seem too entitled and assume I get to go back. But I would love recognition that I have smart things to say, and that I could be of use to the show. Because I would be! But who knows…

Trailer Trash XLI: Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde (1971)

"Warning! The sexual transformation of a man into a woman will actually take place before your very eyes!"

Why are there so many horrible, b-movie takes on Dr. Jekyll? It's a favorite sub-sub-sub-genre of mine here on Trailer Trash, and you can go back and check out my entries on the classic schlocker Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde, or the even worse Daughter of Dr. Jekyll. Is it because they're not all that hard to come up with? You really only need to fill in one little piece of the equation:

Dr. Jekyll + potion = ______.

Just fill in your noun of choice. That blank spot can really be whatever you want. You could choose, say... "monster". But you wouldn't be very creative. Or "cat". Then you'd have a movie about a guy who turns into a cat. A pretty kick-ass choice would be "dinosaur" or "cyborg". Hell, even "kickboxer" would be sweet. If you filled in the blank with the word "unicorn", well, thank you for reading my blog, little girl.

See? It's easy!

In most b-movies of the 1970s, directors would choose to fill that blank with the words "black man". But not today's movie. Today's feature is about a doctor who takes a dangerous, experimental potion that turns him into a woman.



So shocking it's rated PG!

You've got to love a movie poster that tells you EXACTLY what you're going to see in the film:


For those of you whose clicking-fingers are broken and can't blow up the movie poster to read it, here's the text. (I'm guessing you can already read the word "shock"):

"This film is filled with SHOCK... victim after victim dies in throat-cutting orgy! After SHOCK... unnatural laboratory experiments performed behind barred doors! After SHOCK... once again he will change sexes and kill, kill, kill!"

Until next week, kids!

"You will deny... what you see... but you will never be sure... when you see... Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde!"

Trailer Trash is a weekly tribute to oddball, cheesy and often just plain terrible movie trailers. Writers: These movies got made... so can yours! You can read through our archive by clicking here.

Fast & Furious a.k.a. Drift from Fan-base

I attended an early screening of this movie and received a promotional item. It was a book of matches. I opened the matches to realize that it was not in fact a matchbook, but a very small condom…with Fast & Furious scrolled on the cover. It made me laugh.

In fact, many parts of Fast & Furious made me laugh. Like when the actors attempted to act. Or when the screenplay attempted to tell a story. And who can forget when the director attempted to compensate!

The story is simple. A wanted man in the states, Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) is brought out of hiding when a heroin importer kills his girlfriend Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) in Los Angeles. There, he teams with Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) in an attempt to get revenge and clear his name in the process.

With this being the original cast of The Fast and the Furious, which ended with everyone going their own way, the audience is treated to the obligatory “where did you go?”, “I thought you loved me!” scenes that reconnect the characters. And whether it’s Vin Diesel looking confused in moments of reflection or Paul Walker delivering lines with the depth of a mud puddle, we begin to realize how these actors came to be involved in a fourth installment of the series.

It certainly wasn’t because of a worthwhile script. That a story with no more than six plot points could make each one confusing and illogical is somewhat of a miracle. A racing-inspired movie contains one generic race and becomes the redheaded stepchild to Traffic. The dialogue is recycled from a bad Pennzoil commercial. And there is more than one occasion in which a character expresses a reason for doing something only to contradict himself the next line (no other character seems to notice).

Did I really expect more? Yes. I hoped for simple, stupid entertainment. What I got was one of the funniest movie-going experiences of my life. Usually that’s a good thing, but, well, let’s just say this won't have me backtracking to catch Tokyo Drift…

What, When, Where this Weekend - Sugar, Adventureland, Alien Trespass, Paris 36

What, When, Where is a weekly guide to select screenings, discussions and events in the NYC-area of interest to screenwriters. Have an event you'd like to see listed here? Give us a heads-up at info@screenwritersleague.com.

Opening this weekend...

SUGAR, written and directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck


Premise: A chronicle of Miguel "Sugar" Santos's experience in the U.S., as the young Dominican baseball star is recruited to play in the minor leagues.

Playing: Angelika, AMC Empire 25, Lincoln Plaza Cinemas

I'm not even a baseball fan and I really want to see this one. Good reviews all around. (See here or here.)

ADVENTURELAND, written and directed by Greg Mottola


Premise: During the summer of 1987, recent college grad James Brennan takes what he thinks is a going-nowhere job at his local amusement park, only to discover it's a perfect opportunity to prepare himself for the real world.

Playing: Everywhere.

I know Cake Man wants to see this one because he's mentioned it at least fifty times since the trailer debuted. I do, too. It looks funny, I like the cast, I liked Superbad. Bring it.

PARIS 36, written by Christophe Barratier and Pierre Philippe, dir. by Christophe Barratier


Premise: In the spring of 1936, three residents of "the Faubourg," a working class neighborhood north of Paris, look to produce a musical that will bring back to life their cherished local theater.

Playing: Union Square Stadium 14

The trailer is very colorful and pretty. Is it reminding anyone else of Amelie?


ALIEN TRESPASS, written by James Swift and Steven P. Fisher, dir. by R.W. Goodwin


Premise: A sci-fi/comedy set in 1957, in which residents of a small town in the Mojave Desert make an alliance with an alien named Urp, whose ship has crash-landed on Earth and released a second creature, the monstrous Ghota, who is bent on destroying humankind.

Playing: Angelika, Clearview Chelsea, AMC Empire 25

I like that they're marketing it as a lost film from the 1950s, and readers know from my weekly Trailer Trash feature that I'm a sucker for awful movies. I'm in.

What are you doing/seeing this weekend?

The Writing Wire for 4/1/09 - Booze!, Best Walks, Mike Nichols, Chow Yun-Fat

Cleaning out the ol' linkbox...

- MTV gives their list of the ten "best walks" in movie history. John Cleese is strangely absent.

- The Museum of Modern Art is planning a Mike Nichols retrospective for April.

- Chow Yun-Fat is Confucious? Please, please let there be slow-motion gunplay, or at least some wire-fu.

- The Oscars are moving to March next year. Does it matter?

- FirstShowing asks: Would you pay $20 to see a movie in 3-D?

- Should you break into the business by writing a straight-to-DVD knockoff of a Hollywood blockbuster? John August weighs in.

- Is Netflix's Instant Watch service in danger? (If something happens, this humble blogger will weep openly.)

- Old news now, but for those who missed it: The Coen Brothers are remaking True Grit.

The Writing Week (Vol. 2) part 65 - When Space is King

One of the biggest elements of New York City life is housing. Ask anyone who lives here. New York is one of the few cities I can think of where it’s not only perfectly acceptable and polite, but also expected, that when talking about housing, you ask, “What do you pay per month?” In other cities, that’s an invasion of privacy. In New York, it’s a way of life.

The City is defined by locations and rates – which borough you’re in, and which neighborhood within that borough – affects not only your social calendar, who comes to see you, how long you commute, and what you pay, but also how you live your life. What with nearly 9 million people living in just over 300 square miles, it’s no surprise that housing becomes king. And, for the first time in two years, I found myself among the horde of people searching for a new place to live in the City.

I won’t go into the details of the search – if you’re thinking of moving to New York and have questions, though, please feel free to email info@screenwritersleague.com and I’ll provide whatever advice I can – other than to say this: I did my apartment search based on how I thought it would affect my writing. Every place we went, I stood in “my” room and looked around, wondering what my writing vibe would be. Will I work here? Does the room lend itself to creativity? Go beyond the bedroom – would I be comfortable writing in the living room? Do I feel that this space mutes my creative drive?

I won’t debate you if you read that and think I’m a bit OCD. A bit “out there.” A bit nuts. Maybe I’m alone in that feeling. Doesn’t mean I can deny it, though. A writer’s space is key. Read enough interviews with writers, and they often talk about needing their desk to be a certain way or their office to meet X, Y, and Z requirements. We’re neurotic by nature, and if we’re not comfortable in our environment, no matter how psychological and avoidable the reaction to that space can be, the creative process can be thrown all out of whack. I was lucky enough to find a new apartment that I not only like, but that I can imagine myself sitting and writing in. I can clearly see myself at my desk in my new room, as well as my new living room.

Thank goodness for a creativity-welcoming apartment.

Trailer Trash XL: Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter (1974)

"One man dared to take a stand against this evil! One man dared to hurl a challenge of cold steel against the terror of the undead! He was Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter!"

Many men NEVER dare to hurl a challenge of cold steel against anything. They're barely men at all.

In the late 19th Century, Mark Twain (nee Samuel Clemens) penned several of the most treasured American novels. Nearly 100 years later, his ancestor Brian Clemens tipped the scales back in the favor of terrible by writing and directing the Hammer b-film Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter.



At 0:10 - Why are so many beautiful maidens taking that shortcut through Vampire Forest? I try not to question B-movie logic, but damn.
At 0:21 - O.J.-vision!
At 0:55 - "Just brushing my hair in front of the mirror... in the middle of Vampire Forest..."
At 1:16 - Bitten on the mouth??!?


"You see? He's been bitten on the mouth!"

Trailer Trash is a weekly tribute to oddball, cheesy and often just plain terrible movie trailers. Writers: These movies got made... so can yours! You can read through our archive by clicking here.