Saturday, April 18, 2009

Trailer Trash XLIII: Trog (Joan Crawford, 1970)

"From a million years back... Horror explodes into today!"

(You know a movie is going to be poorly written when even the poster's tagline barely makes sense...)

This week's movie is most notable for starring Academy Award-winner Joan Crawford in her final movie role. Oh, how the mighty can fall... (Ben Kingsley, I'm looking at you.)

The other big highlight of this movie is that it features one of the dumbest-looking b-movie monsters to ever appear on the silver screen. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Trog:

I mean, seriously! Trog looks like a guy who forgot to put on the bottom of his Chewbacca costume. I understand Joan Crawford probably didn't come cheap. But, damn. Did they not have enough money left in the budget to buy their monster a pair of pants?

At 0:08 - Do you think this is the kind of stuff Syd Barret would see whenever he closed his eyes?
At 0:44 - Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!
At 0:56 - Jurassic Park has nothin' on this.
At 1:09 - How many times are they going to superimpose that face?
At 1:18 - Now? GAH!
At 1:20 - Does anyone know if underwear is considered proper spelunking gear?
At 1:28 - Chewbacca, no!
At 2:12 - "You may want to forget what you see..." - Does he mean the cavediver in his underwear?
At 2:25 - Aaaaaand back to Syd Barret-vision.

Wow. I mean, just wow, right? After the bizarre cave-exploring interlude at the beginning of the trailer, it's all just a man in half a gorilla costume chasing people around. Though, I suppose I'd run from that, too...

"...with the strength of 20 demons!"

Trailer Trash is a weekly tribute to oddball, cheesy and often just plain terrible movie trailers. Writers: Even Rob Schneider can get a movie made... so can you! You can read through our archive by clicking here.

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