Saturday, February 07, 2009

Trailer Trash XXXIII: Ator the Invincible (1982)

"In an age of innocence, before the dawn of fear, two special people found each other."

The above quote says more about the movie Ator than I ever could. The word "special" is only ever used to describe two kinds of people: children and those with the, um, minds of children. In the trailer you're about to watch it's used to describe two Conan-style barbarians. Is that a flub? Nah. These two barbarians ARE special.

Caution: This trailer moves quick. Blink and you might miss the tarantula, several swordfights, a bathing beauty, deer, a bear, multiple explosions, a man in gold eyeshadow, or a dude who just straight-up explodes.

At 0:01 - Deer!
At 0:03 - Bear!
At 0:08 - Ator had his hair done by Motley Crue's stylist.
At 0:18 - Boom!

The movie itself even more ridiculous, managing to work all kinds of wacky flourishes (from incest, to witches, to zombies!) into one 98-minute PG-rated film. For an exhaustive, in-depth plot analysis, check out Cool Cinema Trash's rundown. (It's better than actually seeing the movie!)

Cool Cinema Trash was even kind (or do I mean cruel?) enough to include an MP3 of the movie's awful, awful theme song. Hate music? You'll love this.

"The birth of a new legend, a new hero, a true heroine: AAAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRR!"

Trailer Trash is a weekly tribute to oddball, cheesy and often just plain terrible movie trailers. Writers: These movies got made... so can yours! You can read through our archive by clicking here.

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