Saturday, September 27, 2008

Trailer Trash XIII: The Vampire Lovers (1970)

"If you dare... taste the deadly passion of the BLOOD NYMPHS!"

Oh, I knew it would only be a matter of time before I opened up that can of b-movie goodness known as the Hammer Horror catalog. More to come, kiddos. Don't you worry your pretty little heads.

Peter Cushing (Grand Moff Tarkin to you, nerds) stars in this film, just like he does in about 90% of Hammer's movies. The plot is pretty standard as can be seen in the trailer - interestingly, this movie was considered brave at the time because of it's portrayal of a lesbian vampire. Oh, how media has come a long way between The Vampire Lovers and The L Word...

And, to business:

At 0:05 - Lady!
At 0:06 - CAT!
At 0:06 - Hand!
At 0:07 - Lady
At 0:08 - CAT!
At 0:10 - Did they get a man to redub this woman's voice?
At 0:20 - Swish! Swish!
At 0:30 - Don't drink and ride a horse.
Ar 0:40 - It doesn't look THAT bad.
At 0:44 - Is George Washington at this party?
At 0:58 - Is she doing it with... Cookie Monster?
At 0:59 - Or maybe bigfoot?
At 1:03 - Oh, it's just a huge cat. Okay. I was worried for a bit.
At 1:18 - For the lowest car insurance rates in town, call The General.
At 1:28 - Way to work that sword, buddy.
At 1:40 -
At 1:50 - What a terrible way to wake up. The worst way, maybe!
At 1:55 - The most dapper one remains!
At 1:56 - This costume was left over from "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."

Note the "Caution: Not for the mentally immature" warning on the poster. Sorry, Cake Man, Suckerman... I knew you guys wanted to see this one!

"You mist die. Everbuddy mist die!"


king suckerman said...

Can you sneak me in?!

Cake Man said...

Maybe we should go back in time and write vampire lesbian movies. It'd be a good way to break in.