Saturday, September 06, 2008

Trailer Trash X: Hell Night (1981)

"Why is this night so special?"
"Because 12 years ago Raymond Garth killed his family here and then committed suicide!"

Very, very by-the-books '80s slasher. Nothing exceptionally new or exciting in this one, but I must have watched it a few dozen times in my early teens. Why? It starred Linda Blair - the little girl from the Exorcist. The little girl from the Exorcist who grew up really hot.

Oh, Linda Blair. However did you go from spitting pea soup to getting arrested for dealing cocaine at the age of 18? Moving in with much-older boyfriend Rick Springfield at the age of 15? All the nude photo shoots? And didn't you date Rick James through the 1980s? And let's not forget Chained Heat, the women-in-prison genre classic. (Note to self: Chained Heat deserves its own post very soon.)

If there were a Perez Hilton three decades ago, Linda Blair would have been his darling. Linda Blair: the Lindsay Lohan before there was Lindsay Lohan.

The plot is pretty much given away 100% in the trailer - bunch of coeds go to a haunted house as part of a fraternity hazing. Note the ridiculous costumes - that's part of the hazing process. So, yeah, they're dressed like Robin Hood and ren faire rejects through the entire movie, except for when they're undressed.

At 1:00 - Wait. I know horror movies LIVE off these cliches, but the killer is still in the house. WTF do they think will happen if they stay the night there?
At 1:10 - "Hey, let's - potty?"
At 1:15 - Yeah, that guy is that much of a tool through the entire movie.
At 1:20 - And yes, you see him in a ridiculous sex scene.

Poster via Wrong Side of the Art.

"Oh, my gosh. This is one radical chick. Alright!"

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