Justiflat - The Premiere Episode of Justified Is Dead as the Man in Miami

*This post might contain spoilers.

I'm only about half way through the three-season run of DEADWOOD (on borrowed DVDs), but that's been more than enough to hook me. So, naturally, when I saw the first preview for JUSTIFIED, FX's new drama about a quick (and often) shooting U.S. Marshal starring Timothy Olyphant of Deadwood fame, I was more than psyched. Unfortunately, after Tuesday night's series premiere episode, the show quickly fell into the, "I'll give it another few episodes before quitting" category of new shows. 

The episode opened with Olyphant's Raylan Givens sitting across from a suspect at a table beside the pool at a trendy Miami hotel. After some quite, intimidating, tough-guy dialogue that involved a lot of daring one another to shoot, Raylan blasts the man away. Raylan chews the fat with the other marshals outside the hotel later, not in the least bit disturbed by the life he just took. And there began the pattern that repeated for the next hour plus of the first episode.

Raylan gets transferred to his backwoods Kentucky hometown in an attempt to let the dust from the Miami shooting settle, and to catch a childhood acquaintance of his who has been getting the government's attention. In case you miss it the first time Raylan says it, you'll get to hear another 18 times that he and his new target used to mine coal together. In fact, there's more repetition in the first episode than I have ever seen in any show ever. Or any season for that matter. Whether it's "we mined coal together" or "you shot a man in Miami" or some variation of either statement, the writers seem to have run out of unique things to say after each commercial break. Like a comic book that only comes out every other month, so the writers have to remind us what's happened through catch-up dialogue, Justified was so repetitive that I was plain bored. The hour and 11 minute premiere (commercials included) could have been boiled down to a half an hour if all the repeat lines - sometimes seemingly verbatim - were removed. We get it! Raylan shot a man in Miami. Next?

More than repetitive, though, Justified lacked logic. If it didn't, I was either not paying attention or too picky a viewer. I don't believe that a single rocket from a bazooka would blow up an entire building, causing simultaneous fire balls to erupt from the first and second story windows. Maybe I'm wrong there. I could also be wrong that a woman who blasted her husband would be free to continue going about her business. Raylan's love interest, an abused woman played by the beautiful Joelle Carter, aims a shotgun at her husband while he's eating dinner and pulls the trigger. Somehow, though, despite the fact that she did this and that all the cops know she did it, we're first introduced to her as she's going about her daily business, nothing unusual to her. It's only at the tail end of the episode that we see her at the court house (did the writers remember she might, possibly, potentially have to answer for killing an unarmed - albeit abusive - man?). (At one point during the previews for the upcoming episodes, I wondered aloud if all the women cast for the show were sisters. Carter is a tall, gorgeous blond woman. Raylan's ex is a tall, gorgeous blond woman. And a third character we haven't been introduced to yet who Raylan seems to hook up with is - you guessed it - a tall, gorgeous blond woman. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for tall, gorgeous blond women, but it made me wonder - was this a theme, or are the producers just trying to increase the babe factor in light of a weak story?)

The police work seemed as shoddy as the writing. Raylan and his other marshals spent a lot of their time swaggering around, taking shots, speaking in drawls, and talking about the guilty criminals they knew exactly where to find. If they actually did happen to seek out those perps, though, they used guns instead of actual police work to end the day. Not bad for TV, unless, like Raylan, you decide to answer your cell phone in the middle of a shoot out. And I thought answering in the movie theater was bad. 

Justified is no Deadwood. That's more than clear. I shouldn't have expected as much, but I did think it'd be more than just an updated WALKER, TEXAS RANGER. Hopefully, the coming episodes won't be as flat and one-lied as the first, or I'll be Givens this one up.

The Writing Week (Vol. 3) part 115 - Talk it Out

Writing is often viewed as a solitary pursuit, something that people do in the quiet of their apartment, office, or in the hubbub of a coffee shop. Story lines, character arcs, structure, plot, back stories, and all related elements that go into a script are devised by the scribe alone, with no outside help. At the League, we all believe that to be far from the case. And when I was incredibly stuck on the new outline for my post-Apocalyptic spec, I new I needed help in the form of someone that I could talk it out with (because sometimes, instead of writing, I actually make more progress when working my story out verbally).

On Tuesday night, Onyx and I met up after work at what is fast becoming one of our regular (maybe even weekly) haunts. We went to a restaurant just off Broadway down by Houston Street, saddled up to the bar, pulled out our notebooks, and each ordered one on the night's special $2 pints. That night, we had an agenda, so we didn't spend too much time on unrelated chit-chat. There were three things we wanted to discuss.

First, we talked a bit about a collaboration idea Onyx came up with that we've been talking about working on. He'd sent me an email with some basic thoughts on character, theme, and premise over the weekend, and Tuesday was our first chance to talk about it in person. I'm glad that we began the night with this idea, as I was hoping that beginning some very preliminary talks about one project would help get the wheels turning quickly by the time we moved onto my script. We discussed some of the main characters, tentative relationships they might have with one another, and the general idea of what the script would be. We didn't try to outline anything, nail down any concrete scenes, or even cement who our protagonist would be. Rather, this was a much more basic, building from the ground up type of meeting. I think we made some good progress, too, agreeing on the basics and what our next step would be (some character work and settling on a loose direction based on that).

With the creative juices flowing, we moved on, focusing on my project. As you might recall, I've been asked to attack the second act of my script again. I'd spent the past few days writing a lot of notes down on paper (not something I normally do - I typically make my notes on the computer, since I've found it easier to adhere to my writing schedule when I'm staring at a blinking cursor). Despite all of my notes, some of which were helpful, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was scratching at the surface of the breakthrough I needed to make big strides, but that I wasn't really getting anywhere. There were a few pieces falling into place, but I was feeling far too reluctant to get rid of existing elements from the story without having a really solid reason to do so. There was one character in particular who I was finding difficult to keep in - despite her somewhat large role - but I needed a reason to get rid of her.

While talking with Onyx, he helped me work out the issues I was meeting. Whether he meant to or not, he helped me see a way to take the script in a new direction, one that would make that carry-over character irrelevant. More importantly, though, he helped me ground my character in his setting. My protagonist spends most of the film trying to track somebody down in an unfamiliar land. The problem was, though, he had nowhere to turn when the clues he got led to a dead end. After all, it was unfamiliar land. by talking with Onyx and working on the script out loud, I realized that this lack of familiarity with the setting was one of the big problems I'd been facing, and I figured out how to address it.

With the taste of a big breakthrough in my mouth (and another $2 beer to compliment it), we finally talked a bit about something that Onyx was working on. We threw around a couple more ideas, further proving just how useful it can be to have someone to talk to your scripts about, someone who has read that material and knows what you're trying to do with it. For days, I had been staring at a blank page or blinking cursor, getting nowhere. An evening at a bar after work with someone from the writers group who has been following the project closely proved more valuable than the past few days combined. Granted, those few days of seemingly little progress were integral to me starting to see what I had to lose (or had to prepare to lose) from the old drafts. But that night out talking about the script was the eureka moment I needed to push forward with my work.

Even if you only have one other person to talk to about your writing, I'd highly suggest that any aspiring writer find someone to share every draft of their script with and be able to talk about the project with out loud. It can be such a more productive use of time than watching the seconds tick past as that page in front of you remains untouched.

Site Alert - Circalit

One of the strongest things about being a part of a writers group (and there are many) is the support and knowledge you get from your group mates. You can bounce questions and ideas off of one another, get feedback, and feel that you're a part of a community of other creative people. Of course, there are a lot of people who don't have access to like-minded and talented people, so a writers group might be out of the question. Luckily for anyone for whom this is the case, there's a new social networking site designed just for screenwriters that has recently been brought to our attention. (Standard League disclaimer - while we've perused the site, Leaguers have not yet uploaded material to Circalit.)

Circalit.com is a newly-launched, multiple hat wearing site for screenwriters. On on hand, Circalit is a means for getting unproduced scripts into the hands of industry professionals. Like other sites that do similar work in this regard, Circalit functions as a place for writers to upload their script (from 5% to 100% based on how much they want to reveal), loglines, and associate a genre. Unlike other sites, this service is free to users. Because I'm just as hesitant about putting material out there, I asked the folks at Circalit some basic security questions. They assured me that material posted on the site cannot be copied, selected, printed, or saved. Of course, they want to remind all writers that it's best practice to copyright anything before uploading. 

Additionally, users can rate one anothers' work - this is where that neat remote writers group feature comes in. Highest ranked scripts jump to the top of the page (presumably for those industry insiders to seek out). Users can read other users' scripts - provided it has all been uploaded - and provide feedback, either publicly or privately. For people looking to get reviews from someone other than their mother, this could prove a great feature. 

Another component of the "remote writers group" as I call it is the forum section. Writers can post questions, start groups, and associate with other people based on interest, location, and other things. Screenwriters from all over can ask one another how to do this or how to format that. I've checked out the forums a bit - they're definitely worth a look. 

There are other features Circalit is building out. Check it out for more info. the opportunity for aspiring writers to have a site dedicated entirely to people like them, striving to make that first sale or gain a few pointers is a great idea. And at no cost to all users, it's certainly easy on the wallet. 

If you've been on Circalit or have any experience with it, we'd love to know - just leave it in the comments section.

The Writing Week (Vol. 3) part 114 - Oscar Inspiration

Whether you love the Academy Awards or you hate them, I think it's hard to deny that there's something to be said for getting Hollywood's best together for a night celebrating achievements in filmmaking. Of course, I don't mean to imply that I think that all of the films nominated achieved something notable. (Did anyone else get a sense of unintended irony when the 10 Best Picture nominees were stacked next to the 10 Best from 1943 when CASABLANCA won? Many of the "best pictures' these days pale in comparison to truly great films from cinema's past.)

For me, the Oscars - like any award ceremony really - inspire me (at least momentarily) to create something wonderful. I don't mean that in a "I can do better" way. Award ceremonies honoring great work in film (or stage) always give me impetus to write something that could, one day, be similarly revered. How great it would be to hear my name called after someone reads, "And the Oscar goes to..." Certainly, this is a dream many of us share.

 However, I don't think that the hope of someday winning is the only inspiration for the (too often fleeting) creative surge I feel. It might be simpler and less grand than that. Watching people and films get rewarded for their accomplishments is as great a reminder as any that I won't even get a script produced if I don't dedicate myself to working hard and writing daily. Seeing people win often helps pull my head out of the clouds, plant me on my feet, and remind me to stop dreaming and start working.

This weekend, the creative juices weren't flowing, too freely. Perhaps I'm over-complicating what I need to do in my re-writes. Perhaps I just need a few more days away from the project. And as of writing this, I had a 9+ hour day at work and haven't touched my script yet today. I'm hoping that last night's telecast will light the fire under me that I need to re-write my script yet again. 

The Writing Week (Vol. 3) part 113 - Another Round of Rewrites

Patience is a virtue. Or at least a necessity. 

Last week, I had another conference call - this one regarding the most recent draft of my script that was delivered to the production company we're working with. Of course, I was hoping that the call would be to inform me I could quit my job and should fly out to LA instantly to ink a deal and begin taking other meetings. Needless to say, that wasn't the case. 

Unfortunately, after about 2 months of rewrites, I was sent back to the drawing board again. The exec at the production company liked a lot of what I'd done, but wanted to see a tonal shift. After relative flops like THE ROAD and BOOK OF ELI (in a year seemingly inundated with post-Apocalyptic movies), studios are weary and wary of more of the same. The production company we're working with is no different. They like the concept and what I'm trying to achieve, but in order to be more certain that the script will sell, they feel it needs to be more different, less bleak, and stand out from the crowd. No more ash covered forests. No more rusted cars slowly decomposing in the desert. No more mass hysteria causing people to flip out.

I've been asked to set my script apart from all the rest, which is not a bad thing. I don't think it will be the heart-pounding, loud explosion, chaotic adventure I initially set out to write, and that is also not necessarily a bad thing. Truth be told, I'm having a hard time remembering what it is I set out to write in the beginning (apart from a script that takes place in the world I'm still using). Therefore, the changes are not as frustratingly off-goal as they might be in other scenarios. If anything, the script could get better - i.e. smarter, stronger, more intriguing, and more classic. The intrigue and mystery might overshadow the violence and action, which is rare these days. 

Whatever the transformation might be, the fact is that the exec at the production company is still interested and excited, and that's what matters. It's not like we have a ton of other options or interested parties at the moment anyway, so as long as the working relationship is strong, we'll sally forth.

Movie Screening Alert - Oscar Nominees

New York audiences might want to clear their schedules on Saturday if they haven't seen most of the Best Picture Nominees yet. The AMC Kips Bay is doing a marathon screening of 

AVATAR

UP IN THE AIR

PRECIOUS

THE BLIND SIDE and

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (in that order).

It's $30 for the all day event - not too bad considering a regular ticket is over $12 these days - and apparently includes all you can eat popcorn. I'm sure there are screenings like this most year (unless it's a new thing due to the increase in nominees), but it's a cool idea. It might be a bit of an overwhelming movie watching experience, but if you're looking to catch up, here's a good opportunity.

Logline Central - Abduction

Logline Central is an irregular segment that takes a deeper look at loglines of scripts or projects that have just been purchased, as listed on DoneDealPro.  

Right off the bat, this logline intrigued me. 

Title: Abduction

Logline: A young man discovers his own baby picture on a missing persons website.

Writer: Shawn Christensen

Price: High six-figures against seven

More: Spec, part of a bidding war. Based on an idea by Jeremy Bell. Gotham's Ellen Goldsmith-Vein & Lee Stollman, Vertigo's Roy Lee & Doug Davison and Tailor Made's Dan Lautner will produce. Gotham's Bell and Vertigo's Gabriel Mason will executive produce. Taylor Lautner will star.  

It's got "everything" a logline needs. [Note: everything placed in quotation marks there, because it's less traditional than loglines most writers are first taught to write. It doesn't have the second component, if you're abiding by the "When (event) happens, (protagonist) must (action)."] It has the inciting incident - the discovery of the baby picture on the website - the protagonist - the young man - and, most importantly, enough intrigue to pique a reader's attention.

The logline raises a number of questions, but all in a good way. What's his reaction to the discovery? What happens when he finds out more about his original parents? Are his parents for all these years really kidnappers? Does he have a happy life currently? Does he even want to upset his status quo by exploring the discovery more? How does this affect him?

I want to know all that and more, and because of that, I would certainly request the script if I was a VP of Acquisitions. (I'm not a Twi-hard Taylor Lautner fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm curious enough about the script to follow this one a bit closer, despite him.) And we'll see what Shawn Christensen does with the material. An imdb search didn't turn much up on his writing history other than a short and a feature that's still in development. He has one other project in development, which seems to have sold for an impressive $750K against $1.5 million, so he might be someone to watch out for.